Nottm Forest Forum

The Business End => The Daily Cut and Thrust => Topic started by: Jeff on April 30, 2014, 10:05:07 am

Title: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on April 30, 2014, 10:05:07 am
Everyone wants a thread but it comes down to poor old Ingo to sort the job out.

In my garden I have spinach and spring onions, as well as Cauliflower which I may have to relocate to someone elses house when I have picked them out. Further to this I have one red onion, Steve, who started to grow in the cupboard so I have planted him in a grow bag.

I also have mint, basil and oregano, none of which is of any use yet as it hasn't been in long.
Title: Re: Gardeners World
Post by: Seán on April 30, 2014, 10:08:45 am
I used to to grow chives, rosemary, thyme, mint and basil.


But I don't have a garden anymore.
Title: Re: Gardeners World
Post by: Brid on April 30, 2014, 10:10:41 am
I planted a tree in our garden at the weekend.  A tulip tree, since you ask.

That is all.
Title: Re: Gardeners World
Post by: charlie on April 30, 2014, 10:11:20 am
I'm not convinced about the need for this thread at all. Gardening is mundane (even my gardening) and I think it belongs in the mundane thread. I may have to resort to guerrilla posting activities.

And I'm certainly not going to use this thread until it has an apostrophe in the right place. Standards, FFS.
Title: Re: Gardeners World
Post by: Jeff on April 30, 2014, 10:21:25 am

I'm not convinced about the need for this thread at all. Gardening is mundane (even my gardening) and I think it belongs in the mundane thread. I may have to resort to guerrilla posting activities.

And I'm certainly not going to use this thread until it has an apostrophe in the right place. Standards, FFS.


FTFY
Title: Re: Gardeners World
Post by: charlie on April 30, 2014, 10:22:30 am

FTFY


But there is more than one gardener on here...
Title: Re: Gardeners World
Post by: Jeff on April 30, 2014, 10:26:36 am

But there is more than one gardener on here...


Any better?
Title: Re: Gardeners World
Post by: Mike B. on April 30, 2014, 10:29:14 am

And I'm certainly not going to use this thread until it has an apostrophe in the right place. Standards, FFS.


The plucky little apostrophe has just evolved. It certainly thrives in areas previously thought uninhabitable - possibly due to the decline of its natural predator,  the red pen.

Our strawberries are looking set for a bumper crop and we shall be planting three Apache chillies in a grow bag this weekend. They were a massive success last time out.

Title: Re: Garden'er's Worlds
Post by: noodlé on April 30, 2014, 10:31:05 am
i've got a roof terrace covered in pigeon sh!t. a few weeks ago i cleaned all the pigeon sh!t up, and then some more pigeons shat on it.
Title: Re: Garden'er's Worlds
Post by: redeye on April 30, 2014, 11:28:33 am
I have four tomato plants. Unlike the other thread people, I don't know if they're Megabingo ones or what. They look like they will be red if the picture on the packet is right.

I tried to grow chillies too, but they died.
Title: Re: Gardeners World
Post by: charlie on April 30, 2014, 11:32:53 am

Any better?


Ye's, thats' excellent. Thank's'.
Title: Re: Garden'er's Worlds
Post by: Jeff on April 30, 2014, 11:50:55 am

I tried to grow chillies too, but they died.


I had some of them but I think I watered them too much they also died.
Title: Re: Garden'er's Worlds
Post by: pantzcat on April 30, 2014, 11:51:52 am
I also have tomato plants, no idea what type they are, we also have various herbs courgettes, runner beans which no-one likes so never get eaten ever, and the in-laws have also planted red & white onions. They have just stuck whole onions in the mud with the tops sticking out, I'm sceptical this is going to work!

Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Lessred on April 30, 2014, 12:10:32 pm
I mainly have grass, but last year I also managed to cultivate some of that bind weed type stuff, I'm hoping for a bigger crop this year
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on April 30, 2014, 12:24:56 pm

I mainly have grass, but last year I also managed to cultivate some of that bind weed type stuff, I'm hoping for a bigger crop this year


If you're not a softie pinko type if you give it some nitrogen and you will break all records.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dunc on April 30, 2014, 12:28:59 pm
We had an allotment but the birth of our youngest last year put paid to any reasonable amount of time using it as it's a fair way away. Instead we've gone for it at home where we've placed 4 decent sized raised beds on a concrete hardstanding at the back of the garden. Plus an array of pots. So far, we're growing:

- Carrots
- Red, White and Spring Onions
- 2 different types of cauliflower (ordinary ones and those green spirally ones)
- Broccoli and Purple Sprouting Broccoli
- Peas
- Little Gem Lettuce and Salad crops
- Courgettes
- Tromboncino (climbing squash, a bit like a courgette)
- Beetroot
- Brussels Sprouts
- Tomatoes in pots (from a friend of mine - no idea what varieties, he just said "those are the ordinary ones and these are the small ones")
- Rhubarb (in an old water tank thing)
- Potatoes in bags

(we'll probably end up with the square root of fcuk all)

We've also got a big apple tree in the garden, a small (but very productive) pear tree and a fig tree in a pot that has provided a few figs (it probably needs to come out of it's pot and be planted in the ground
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: jp on April 30, 2014, 12:35:45 pm
This is very nice little thread. And very appropriate for the weather, and the season.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Lloyd Christmas on April 30, 2014, 12:48:21 pm
I have two flower beds in my back garden which produced a bumper crop of parsley, mint, rosemary and sage for two years running.  In year three now and the mint has died while the others are looking a little sad.  Am toying with digging the whole lot up and starting again.  I too have cultivated some sort of bind weed thing that strangles the herbs, as annoying as it is I'm very impressed with how hard the thing works.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Andyp on April 30, 2014, 01:24:17 pm

I mainly have grass, but last year I also managed to cultivate some of that bind weed type stuff, I'm hoping for a bigger crop this year


I'm not sure you should be making public your cultivation of grass.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on April 30, 2014, 01:26:38 pm

fig tree in a pot that has provided a few figs (it probably needs to come out of it's pot and be planted in the ground


If you research this I think you'll find that you should keep the fig in a pot. Apparently, it likes a confined space for its roots.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Dean on April 30, 2014, 01:31:18 pm
There are strawberries and mint growing in my garden, neither of which I had anything to do with. 

I was planning on making an effort and getting into this growing stuff malarkey this year but haven't got round to it yet
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dunc on April 30, 2014, 02:10:40 pm

If you research this I think you'll find that you should keep the fig in a pot. Apparently, it likes a confined space for its roots.


I didn't know that (although I hadn't researched that - I'd just assumed) I shall leave it where it is in that case.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on April 30, 2014, 02:43:00 pm
If my fig tree is anything to go by (in the garden, the size of a garage, and laden with fruit every summer) I suspect its toss.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: graham on April 30, 2014, 02:48:21 pm
Restricting root growth encourages fruiting says the RHS (http://www.rhs.org.uk/advice/grow-your-own/fruit/figs)
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on April 30, 2014, 02:52:52 pm

If my fig tree is anything to go by (in the garden, the size of a garage, and laden with fruit every summer) I suspect its toss.


When did you plant a fig tree?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on April 30, 2014, 02:56:28 pm

When did you plant a fig tree?


95/6?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on April 30, 2014, 03:03:24 pm

95/6?


Fascinating.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: The GasMan on April 30, 2014, 03:24:35 pm
My garden is full of bougainvillea, a lemon tree and some Chiltepe hot peppers. My Mrs. does all the gardening whilst I observe & do occasional "beer management" activities.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Seán on April 30, 2014, 03:26:15 pm
I've always fancied owning a hammock.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: DaveM on April 30, 2014, 04:06:44 pm
how do i go about growing some ganja (man)?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: benningtonred on April 30, 2014, 04:09:51 pm

how do i go about growing some ganja (man)?


A loft, tinfoil and your neighbours electricity supply.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Mos on April 30, 2014, 04:15:22 pm

I've always fancied owning a hammock.


Well, there's the Hammock Hut, that's on third. There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There, that's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on April 30, 2014, 04:26:46 pm
I must admit to being sceptical when HM etc started this thread, what with the missing apostrophe as well as an almost cavalier disregard for the merits of the Mundane Moments thread. But now, with the apostrophe in the right place and the thread already on its third page, I take it all back. It's an extremely valuable and instructive addition to Talkback.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on April 30, 2014, 05:02:17 pm

I must admit to being sceptical when HM etc started this thread, what with the missing apostrophe as well as an almost cavalier disregard for the merits of the Mundane Moments thread. But now, with the apostrophe in the right place and the thread already on its third page, I take it all back. It's an extremely valuable and instructive addition to Talkback.


Its going to slow up once everyone has listed everything they've ever planted, and grind to a halt in the winter. Die thread/plants, die,
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on April 30, 2014, 05:16:50 pm
I don't have much of a garden, and what I do have I paved over because f*ck plants.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on April 30, 2014, 05:22:30 pm

Well, there's the Hammock Hut, that's on third. There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There, that's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.


Oh, the hammock district!
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: graham on April 30, 2014, 05:35:47 pm

Well, there's the Hammock Hut, that's on third. There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There, that's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.


No World Of Hammock?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on April 30, 2014, 05:42:39 pm

No World Of Hammock?


It's a cultural reference, I believe. Personally I'd like Hammock Land and Hammock Time.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Mike B. on April 30, 2014, 06:03:24 pm
Have a two-person hammock, but it hasn’t seen any action for a long time.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Lessred on April 30, 2014, 06:05:22 pm
Who was that invitation intended for?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Mike B. on April 30, 2014, 06:24:27 pm
If it was an invitation I'd have Ts & Cs with 'no swingers' being first on the list - it makes it very unstable.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Seán on April 30, 2014, 11:14:14 pm
I want a proper old fashioned stringyy one, tied 'twixt two trees, (figs optional, but that sounds quite nice) where I can snooze in the shade wearing a straw hat pulled over my eyes.

Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on May 01, 2014, 08:18:42 am
Could be a frost on Friday and Saturday nights, so don't forget to protect any young plants.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on May 01, 2014, 10:02:44 am
I am finding this thread quite reassuring and comfy, like Monty Don in a warm bath.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dunc on May 01, 2014, 11:39:12 am

Could be a frost on Friday and Saturday nights, so don't forget to protect any young plants.


Should be OK here on the south coast but I may bring my young tomato plants in as a precaution - I don't want them too uncomfortable.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on May 01, 2014, 11:41:11 am

I am finding this thread quite reassuring and comfy, like Monty Don in a warm bath.


...and you find that thought reassuring?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on May 01, 2014, 12:06:59 pm

...and you find that thought reassuring?


Well, if your going to w@nk over Monty Don you want him to be clean, otherwise he might be still covered in horse sh!t.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on May 01, 2014, 12:10:07 pm

Well, if your going to w@nk over Monty Don you want him to be clean, otherwise he might be still covered in horse sh!t.


If w@nking over Monty Don was your thing, I'd imagine horse sh!t was as well.......
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Andyp on May 01, 2014, 01:29:27 pm

I must admit to being sceptical when HM etc started this thread, what with the missing apostrophe as well as an almost cavalier disregard for the merits of the Mundane Moments thread. But now, with the apostrophe in the right place and the thread already on its third page, I take it all back. It's an extremely valuable and instructive addition to Talkback.


I must agree that it is a pleasant change to have a thread about nice things. Even though I don't have a garden and no space to swing a hammock. I like watching Gardeners World for the same reason.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on May 01, 2014, 01:45:20 pm
There would be no w@nking, just a discussion between kindred souls on the merits of a good loam.

And maybe a shared cigar.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on May 01, 2014, 01:59:41 pm
Just moved into a new house and so have a brand new garden to mess up. Fortunately the developers have already started this for me by using it as an access to neighbouring houses and depositing lots of building rubble around the boggy ground that constitutes the garden as is. After many weeks of arguing about how they should fix all this, they have finally agreed to lay some turf. My betting is that they will sprinkle a minimal amount of topsoil over the various bricks buried in the now concrete-like mud and lay the turf directly onto this.
Anyway, once this is done I have lots of decisions on where to plant stuff that will eventually die, fail to flower, or refuse to bear fruit. Obviously I'll be looking for the tree most likely to live just long enough to bury roots in the garden to a depth where it's impossible to remove without digging out half of the village and suchlike so I'll keep an eye on this thread for tips. Fig trees are off for the reason that Tricky seems to think they grow well, and I f*cking hate figs.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Mike B. on May 03, 2014, 11:43:39 am
Chillies and courgettes in. Chillies in one grow bag, one courgette in a bag on its own with another outdoors in a raised bed. Tomatoes also finally in their grow bags, but think we've left them too long in the pots so not hopeful - might have to go out and buy some more in a hurry if they still look sad in a few days.

Last years leeks recovering well after badgers decided they didn't like where we'd planted them. They might be large enough to harvest by the autumn. First row of peas also planted outside.

Did some other mundane stuff too, but this isn't the place for that.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on May 05, 2014, 01:07:22 pm
Planted three courgettes in a bed, with plenty of home-made compost. Also put the toms in a gro-bag, potted up some tarragon and flat leaf parsley, and dug some compost in ready for runner beans.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on May 05, 2014, 04:26:56 pm
Looked at the ever lengthening grass, and the Selby vs. O'Sullivan world championship final. The grass can grow a bit longer.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: jp on May 05, 2014, 04:31:42 pm
It's very tight.

...and another bad miss, on the yellow, from the Rocket.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Seán on May 06, 2014, 11:55:18 am

Planted three courgettes in a bed, with plenty of home-made compost. Also put the toms in a gro-bag, potted up some tarragon and flat leaf parsley, and dug some compost in ready for runner beans.


I quite like runner beans.

That's all I haver to contribute, really, but I feel I want to be involved with the nicest thread on TB in some way.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: graham on May 06, 2014, 03:25:18 pm
It's heartening that the "nicest thread on TB" still involves w@nking over Monty Don.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Seán on May 06, 2014, 03:35:07 pm
I chose to ignore that rather unsavoury bit.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dunc on May 06, 2014, 03:43:38 pm
Earthed up my spuds yesterday evening

<insert own joke here>
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on May 09, 2014, 08:35:35 am
Gardeners still haven't been to lay the turf. The weeds are now so long I saw David Bellamy pushing his way through them this morning.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dunc on May 09, 2014, 08:57:54 am
Spuds appear to be going mental. Earthed them up on Monday and now they need doing again. Not sure whether it is due to my ineptitude (although they were fully covered over) or they just go rampant after a bit.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on May 09, 2014, 02:05:17 pm
Good news everyone. Monty is back on tonight after a break for the snooker last week.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on May 09, 2014, 03:00:20 pm

Good news everyone. Monty is back on tonight after a break for the snooker last week.


Was it you who said they enjoyed pulling their rhubarb over an image of Monty? Can't remember...
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on May 09, 2014, 03:33:13 pm
That was Ingo's slander. I just said I found him comforting. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Seán on May 09, 2014, 03:56:38 pm
I have to confess.... I have no idea....

Who, or what, is Monty Don?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on May 09, 2014, 04:01:33 pm
He's just a man. But he is like a hot cup of soup on a cold day. A soup with croutons in the shape of breasts.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: graham on May 09, 2014, 04:01:39 pm
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQD1GHr5vuKtZpuUfQRBRwhtoWCfZsrwKaaCTVJfiNnP8tyFfXPQA)

Monty is on the right. Loafer is on the left.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on May 09, 2014, 04:02:12 pm
Monty!
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on May 09, 2014, 04:04:15 pm

Monty!


You terrible c*nt!
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dunc on May 09, 2014, 07:15:03 pm

Monty!


his real name is Montgomery Dongomery
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on May 09, 2014, 08:35:58 pm
He's on form tonight. Natty blue scarf. Hasn't got his dong out yet.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: lurker7 on May 09, 2014, 09:13:04 pm

Monty!


Dodgy character...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFQxiL8ElZA
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Mike B. on July 05, 2014, 01:02:56 pm
No news for Monty fans, I'm afraid, just a mid-summer update.

Strawberries all devoured a couple of weeks ago - best crop we've had so got a bit sick of them after day four.

Ignored the broad beans at their peak so they're getting a bit old and will have to blanche and skin them before use. Must pick and use them this week.

Four out of six tomato plants still going. One of the large, stripy varieties we hadn't tried before (not sure if it's Johnny or Malcolm) produced lots of flowers then decided it needed to shed them without producing any fruit. Red ants got into one of the grow-bags and killed the Sungold tomato.

First courgette spotted.

Apache chillies going great guns again.

Badgers have been back digging holes in the lawn.

Mouse spotted near back door. Ancient cat briefly interested but unwilling / unable to intervene after further consideration.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dunc on July 19, 2014, 08:15:02 am

Restricting root growth encourages fruiting says the RHS (http://www.rhs.org.uk/advice/grow-your-own/fruit/figs)


This appears to be true. My (relatively small) fig tree is in a pot. I've only watered and given it the odd tomato feed and I counted 19 figs forming on it yesterday
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on July 22, 2014, 05:27:01 pm
Have been picking courgettes for the last week, and the tomatoes are also ready now. Blackberries look great but still tart. They'll be ready in a day or two - very heavy crop this year - as will the first runner beans.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Mike B. on July 22, 2014, 10:22:00 pm
Sungold a.k.a. Concorde appears to be recovering slightly now the ants have gone. Still very spindly, but it's hanging in there.

Second of the new stripy tomatoes has unexpectedly developed three fruit, but they're exhibiting signs I've seen in other large tomatoes that suggest they might not be up to much - look like two halves of tomato banged together.

Still not had a courgette, but we were very late planting things this year and they are at last starting to look big and healthy enough to start producing lots of female flowers.

Cat is too hot.

Badgers have gone. I don't expect they'll call or write until they want something.






Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on July 23, 2014, 12:14:51 pm
Does anyone recommend a decent combined lawn feed, weed and moss killer? I can't be arsed to apply 3 separate treatments.

Also on a gardening note, I now realise I should have cut back my raspberry bush and let new stems grow this year. As a result it's harvest is crap. Should I do it now or leave till next year?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dunc on July 24, 2014, 09:27:44 am

Also on a gardening note, I now realise I should have cut back my raspberry bush and let new stems grow this year. As a result it's harvest is crap. Should I do it now or leave till next year?


I'm fairly sure that canes need to be pruned back in late winter
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on July 24, 2014, 10:14:11 am

Does anyone recommend a decent combined lawn feed, weed and moss killer? I can't be arsed to apply 3 separate treatments.


Nitrogen, MCPA and Sulphate of Iron would give you the best lawn in the parish. If you can be arsed to walk over it three times I suppose you could mix it all up in the sprayer.

http://www.ecrater.co.uk/p/18542010/25-lbs-ammonium-sulfate-21-0-water-soluble?gps=1
http://www.pitchcare.com/shop/professional-weed-killer-for-paddocks/headland-relay-p-5l-agricultural-grassland-only.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=google_shopping&telx=01902-440268&gclid=CMGRj9_N3b8CFesBwwodNQQAUw
http://www.gloves4less.co.uk/sulphate-of-iron-ferrous-sulphate-ferromel-20---25kg-1789-p.asp?gclid=CMyv_PTN3b8CFSTMtAodWy0ARQ

If you wanted to then do the rest of the parish with the left over you probably could.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dunc on July 24, 2014, 10:21:21 am
My raised beds, put up in early spring have been fairly productive, as have my potato bags (tried for the first time.)

We've had plenty of courgettes from one plant (they were good) and a few from a french courgette plant that produces round ones (they were sh!te.)

We've had bowls and bowls of peas from our first sowing (more planted last month,) lots of little gem lettuces, spring onions and trombonchinos (climbing squashes.) We've also picked onions and carrots and my rhubarb plant has rewarded the bigger tub and extra feeding i've given it with plenty of stalks. Add the goosberries, rasberries, strawberries, beetroots and the first of the salad potatoes and I've been fairly chuffed with what we've managed to get from the garden so far. I hope Monty is proud...

Cauliflowers, Broccolli, Sprouts, Pears, Cooking apples and figs to go.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on July 30, 2014, 04:17:10 pm

Nitrogen, MCPA and Sulphate of Iron would give you the best lawn in the parish. If you can be arsed to walk over it three times I suppose you could mix it all up in the sprayer.

http://www.ecrater.co.uk/p/18542010/25-lbs-ammonium-sulfate-21-0-water-soluble?gps=1
http://www.pitchcare.com/shop/professional-weed-killer-for-paddocks/headland-relay-p-5l-agricultural-grassland-only.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=google_shopping&telx=01902-440268&gclid=CMGRj9_N3b8CFesBwwodNQQAUw
http://www.gloves4less.co.uk/sulphate-of-iron-ferrous-sulphate-ferromel-20---25kg-1789-p.asp?gclid=CMyv_PTN3b8CFSTMtAodWy0ARQ

If you wanted to then do the rest of the parish with the left over you probably could.


Thanks for that. V helpful.

My lawn seems to be mostly moss these days. If I use moss killer on it, am I going to end up with basically a massive brown dead looking lawn??

Also - any advice on getting rid of ants nests in the lawn, I seem to have at least 10 and growing!
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on July 30, 2014, 04:22:16 pm
this (http://www.greenfingers.com/product.asp?dept_id=200358&pf_id=LT1172D&co=fr&gclid=Cj0KEQjwr-KeBRCMh92Ax9rNgJ8BEiQA1OVm-ECckJiSj5bCHhRGtfS2lQZIb6cxOWvBUtEWPXi5OzcaAgxB8P8HAQ) is the best stuff I've found for killing ants.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on July 30, 2014, 04:27:44 pm
If you're going to have a brown lawn anyway, just hit the whole thing with napalm, or if that's a bit hard to get hold of then perhaps siphon the contents of your car's fuel tank through a garden sprinkler and then ignite. Moss and ants all dealt with quickly and efficiently, and much more fun to watch.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on July 30, 2014, 04:38:38 pm

If you're going to have a brown lawn anyway, just hit the whole thing with napalm, or if that's a bit hard to get hold of then perhaps siphon the contents of your car's fuel tank through a garden sprinkler and then ignite. Moss and ants all dealt with quickly and efficiently, and much more fun to watch.


Yes, but is it kid and pet safe........?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on July 30, 2014, 04:43:38 pm

Yes, but is it kid and pet safe........?


No, but you could have a hell of a barbeque.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on July 30, 2014, 04:46:00 pm

Yes, but is it kid and pet safe........?


Not while it's actually burning, but you shouldn't need to keep them locked up for too long.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on August 07, 2014, 05:36:25 pm
Somebody gave me a chilli plant. It's now very bushy, about 2ft tall and has had lots of flowers. But only one chilli. Anybody know what's gone wrong?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on August 07, 2014, 05:41:14 pm

Somebody gave me a chilli plant. It's now very bushy, about 2ft tall and has had lots of flowers. But only one chilli. Anybody know what's gone wrong?


Are you sure it's not actually dwarf holding a bouquet and a chilli? You may have been conned, I'd double check if I was you.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on August 07, 2014, 06:24:07 pm

Are you sure it's not actually dwarf holding a bouquet and a chilli? You may have been conned, I'd double check if I was you.


If Fella is around there filming him on the job, using his camera phone, then its an actual dwarf. Otherwise its a fake dwarf. Probably just a short bloke. Maybe Russ. Which would be a shame. An actual dwarf sounds amazing value.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on August 07, 2014, 06:48:35 pm

If Fella is around there filming him on the job, using his camera phone, then its an actual dwarf. Otherwise its a fake dwarf. Probably just a short bloke. Maybe Russ. Which would be a shame. An actual dwarf sounds amazing value.


Well yes, but keep up, he wanted chillies.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Mike B. on August 07, 2014, 08:22:10 pm

Somebody gave me a chilli plant. It's now very bushy, about 2ft tall and has had lots of flowers. But only one chilli. Anybody know what's gone wrong?


Hopefully more of your chilli flowers will bear fruit. Bushiness is good, I think. I've only grown them in grow bags and I make them struggle a touch - maybe only water them every two or three days, depending on temperature. When mine fail, they just stay quite weedy, but yours sound like they are pretty healthy.

The tomato previously known as Johnny is a variety called Tigerella - I checked the label last week and his fruit is both very tasty and quite sweet when fully ripe - a good salad tom and I'll be growing him again.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: graham on August 08, 2014, 03:45:30 pm

Somebody gave me a chilli plant. It's now very bushy, about 2ft tall and has had lots of flowers. But only one chilli. Anybody know what's gone wrong?


Too cold overnight? If it is, the fruit won't set.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Mike B. on August 28, 2014, 05:33:33 pm
Just had the first sample of the larger of my stripy tomatoes which is apparently Brandy Wine. Very tasty and will be coming to a cheese sandwich near me fairly soon, though it only managed to set about six fruits in total.

The Roma looks promising, but none have ripened yet.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Mike B. on September 01, 2014, 05:00:40 pm
First rogue courgette of the year looks to be heading for critical mass. Thai red curry tonight to spare a couple of others a similar fate in the next few days.

Peas haven't got going at all this year. Probably should have checked the date on the packet before sowing as they are probably the same ones we've used for the last couple of years.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on September 01, 2014, 05:04:01 pm
My runner beans haven't got going yet this year. Just picked a few for three of us tonight - but that's the first time I've picked for over a week. There are still lots of flowers though so we many be having beans through October. Very pleased with toms and courgettes this year though.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on October 16, 2014, 04:42:14 pm
Fox dug up my newly planted gooseberry this week. Seems it had buried a roll of animal fat under there. Not entirely sure where it found a roll of animal fat in the first place...
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on October 16, 2014, 04:43:44 pm

we many be having beans through October


And indeed we are. Lots of them.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on October 16, 2014, 04:45:28 pm
Tough? Or not too bad?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on October 16, 2014, 04:55:44 pm

Tough? Or not too bad?


Pretty good. There are some old tough beans but also quite a few young ones still coming through, which are the ones I'm picking.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on April 29, 2015, 04:49:30 pm
Spring is here, football is going away soon so I reckon it's a good time to resurrect this thread. Just taken delivery of two cloches - "the Rolls-Royce of cloches", no less. Will try to put them together and stick them over my mixed leaf seedlings which are struggling with the drop in temperature.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Nottingham Florist on April 29, 2015, 05:25:10 pm
Cut the grass last weekend.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on April 29, 2015, 05:30:04 pm

Cut the grass last weekend.


Worst advice ever.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Lessred on April 29, 2015, 06:58:19 pm

Cut the grass last weekend.


Lazy git I've been cutting mine (under duress) since before Easter
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Mike B. on April 29, 2015, 11:35:16 pm
Garden can go wild. Weeded round the strawberries and keeping the herbs alive but we're not bothering to grow anything that wasn't already there this year.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on April 30, 2015, 07:51:48 am
Round-up is on order for my annual foray into gardening.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: graham on April 30, 2015, 01:14:15 pm
Careful out there (http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2015/03/24/394912399/a-top-weedkiiller-probably-causes-cancer-should-we-be-scared)
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on February 03, 2016, 02:00:14 pm
Just cut the lawn, with mower settings on high. This is the first time I've ever mown before March.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on February 03, 2016, 02:04:19 pm

Just cut the lawn, with mower settings on high. This is the first time I've ever mown before March.


Is that wise, sir? The grass at our new place is long, and I'm keen to tidy it up, but I always thought you wrecked a lawn if you mowed it too early in the year.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dj bobbins on February 03, 2016, 02:13:26 pm
I'm really keen to cut mine as well as it is too long, but always thought you should wait. I seem to get less cats crapping on my grass when it is short (I assume because longer grass is easier to wipe their arse on)..
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on February 03, 2016, 02:34:51 pm
So I don't have to bother for another month? Great!
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on February 03, 2016, 02:55:36 pm

Is that wise, sir? The grass at our new place is long, and I'm keen to tidy it up, but I always thought you wrecked a lawn if you mowed it too early in the year.


I thought that too, but I googled it and experts say you should mow whenever it's growing, like golf clubs do. The important thing is to only take the top off the lawn, so raise the blades of the mower first.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on February 04, 2016, 10:14:34 am

I thought that too, but I googled it and experts say you should mow whenever it's growing, like golf clubs do. The important thing is to only take the top off the lawn, so raise the blades of the mower first.


I think the other thing is not to mow the lawn early in the year when the grass is very wet. Ours is saturated at the moment.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Lloyd Christmas on February 04, 2016, 10:28:37 am
I need to sort my front and back gardens out this summer, both are a wreck but nothing some dynamite couldn't cure.  The house was an end of terrace but the owner built his house on the end and, it appears, buried all the crap he generated in my garden.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on February 04, 2016, 12:13:06 pm

I need to sort my front and back gardens out this summer, both are a wreck but nothing some dynamite couldn't cure.


Sounds like a bird I remember from Hull.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on February 15, 2016, 08:08:05 am
Tried to mow the lawn yesterday on the mower's highest setting. Got about 2/3s done before the lawnmower locked up completely and now the blade won't turn at all.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on February 15, 2016, 08:55:12 am

Tried to mow the lawn yesterday on the mower's highest setting. Got about 2/3s done before the lawnmower locked up completely and now the blade won't turn at all.


You want some steel toe capped boots on then turn it with your foot until it's free. Then at least it won't look broken and you can claim it just stopped working. I've got years of experience of masking the original problem from when I've knackered some expensive piece of agricultural or horticultural equipment following experiments to see just how much work it can handle. There is always a limit. Except forage harvesters, they are indestructible. 
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on February 15, 2016, 08:59:44 am
What are the odds of becoming more one-footed than Andy Reid with that approach?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on February 15, 2016, 09:02:23 am

What are the odds of becoming more one-footed than Andy Reid with that approach?


You want the boots on. Either that or bash it against a tree stump a bit.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on February 27, 2016, 08:37:39 pm
First-world problem, but can't decide whether to mow the lawns tomorrow for the first time this year. Feels far too early but it is getting pretty long. I'm wondering if I might get away with a short-back-and-sides on the highest blade setting.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on February 27, 2016, 08:46:28 pm
Topping it should be fine.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Richoriginal on February 27, 2016, 10:13:01 pm

First-world problem, but can't decide whether to mow the lawns tomorrow for the first time this year. Feels far too early but it is getting pretty long. I'm wondering if I might get away with a short-back-and-sides on the highest blade setting.


You know they have to mow lawns in second and third world countries too? Like the USA for example.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on March 01, 2016, 11:53:17 am
Just spotted a sparrowhawk sitting on my garden fence.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: jp on March 01, 2016, 12:01:28 pm
Got any bird feeders out? You could be organising his lunch for him.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on March 02, 2016, 03:16:36 pm

Got any bird feeders out? You could be organising his lunch for him.


You might have a good point - it's back again this afternoon. Will stock up bird feeders and get the camera ready.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: jp on March 02, 2016, 04:26:15 pm
You sicko. Attracting small birds to your garden just so they can be lunch for a raptor.

Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on March 02, 2016, 04:36:57 pm
How has the Johnson story has even made it to this thread?

Maybe it needs its own thread.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on March 05, 2016, 04:38:30 pm
Does anyone know of a cheap gardener looking for some work in Southwell? Nothing fancy mainly keeping on top of stuff, lots of cutting back and mowing.

Also does anyone have a petrol scarifier they are looking to sell? Lawn is turning more moss than grass so determined to sort it this summer.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on April 06, 2016, 12:54:57 pm

Does anyone know of a cheap gardener looking for some work in Southwell? Nothing fancy mainly keeping on top of stuff, lots of cutting back and mowing.

Also does anyone have a petrol scarifier they are looking to sell? Lawn is turning more moss than grass so determined to sort it this summer.


Hope you have a big compost heap or recycling bin. Two blokes are currently scarifying my lawn, with unbelievable amounts of moss and thatch coming out. Will take me weeks to get rid of it. Lawn now looking like a herd of bullocks have gadded across it.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on June 04, 2016, 01:51:41 pm
Parents are away (IOM TT) so I'm looking after dads plants (some beans, tomatoes and some flowers). Half of the plants are in the greenhouse. The hosepipe is about 2 meters short of the greenhouse so inside the greenhouse is a watering can. However there are lumps of hosepipe everywhere, 2 which are actually long enough to reach and he has a box full of joiners should he rather extend his preferred hose. But no, every day since April he has been using this f*cking can. It would take as much time as it does to arse about with the can as it would to fit or build one hose that would mean he could do away with the can. Are next pub argument is bound to be an utter classic.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on June 04, 2016, 03:47:54 pm
So have you extended the hose for him, thus allowing him to continue using the can if that is his preference but also giving him the option of using the hose in the greenhouse?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: RD on June 04, 2016, 04:01:46 pm
Need to mow but can't be arsed

Going to put it off until Monday and go to the pub instead
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: pantzcat on June 04, 2016, 06:35:34 pm
I have dug up a lot of weeds today.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on June 04, 2016, 06:46:41 pm

So have you extended the hose for him, thus allowing him to continue using the can if that is his preference but also giving him the option of using the hose in the greenhouse?


Have I bollocks, I sent him a sarcastic text message.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Seán on June 04, 2016, 07:25:06 pm
Madame Seán' been sorting our modest little backyard strip of jungle just recently. She didn't even go on strike halfway through or anything. I feel vaguely guilty. Ish.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on June 23, 2016, 08:56:44 pm
My habanero plant has its first fruit. Only flowers so far on the ghost pepper plant.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on June 28, 2016, 06:36:35 pm
We currently have a duck nesting in our garden. Which is nice but we don't have a pond or any other water, the river is about half a mile away and our garden is walled. So Mrs Simon has now, on the advice of the Internet, bought a paddling pool for the ducklings that are likely to hatch at some point in the next month.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on June 28, 2016, 06:39:09 pm
Let's hope it's a knocked up girl type duck or that's one wasted paddling pool.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on June 28, 2016, 06:44:05 pm

Let's hope it's a knocked up girl type duck or that's one wasted paddling pool.


Definitely a girl duck because it's the make that would be green if it was a boy and it's been sat in what looks like a nest and doesn't seem to have moved since at least this weekend.

And, if not, who doesn't like a paddle?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on June 28, 2016, 07:03:41 pm

Definitely a girl duck because it's the make that would be green if it was a boy and it's been sat in what looks like a nest and doesn't seem to have moved since at least this weekend.

And, if not, who doesn't like a paddle?


Do Ducks need water to bring up younguns? Are these idiot ducks who should be Darwin awarded out of the (paddling) pool, and you've irretrievably damaged quacking genetics by propagating the idiots, or are they highly evolved intuitive ducks who have worked out these lanky twonks will sort them out some water?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: jp on June 28, 2016, 07:55:08 pm
Mallards sometimes nest on a roof, so unless it's the roof of a hotel with a rooftop pool, they may well miss out on the old water malarkey.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Vennox on June 28, 2016, 08:00:28 pm

Mallards sometimes nest on a roof, so unless it's the roof of a hotel with a rooftop pool, they may well miss out on the old water malarkey.

I stayed at the Peabody Hotel in Memphis a couple of weeks ago. They have mallards on their roof.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on June 29, 2016, 11:56:31 am

We currently have a duck nesting in our garden. Which is nice but we don't have a pond or any other water, the river is about half a mile away and our garden is walled. So Mrs Simon has now, on the advice of the Internet, bought a paddling pool for the ducklings that are likely to hatch at some point in the next month.


Isn't this the start of The Sopranos? Are you off to kneecap someone later?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on June 29, 2016, 12:01:47 pm

Isn't this the start of The Sopranos? Are you off to kneecap someone later?


60% around here voted to leave, so plenty to choose from.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on July 02, 2016, 09:31:29 pm
Planted some pots this afternoon (note the 's'). Rain now doing its thing with gusto - shouldn't need to water before September at this rate.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Seán on July 03, 2016, 09:28:04 pm
I think we should have duck and / or paddling update.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on July 03, 2016, 10:10:02 pm

I think we should have duck and / or paddling update.



We went away for the weekend, duck appears to have f*cked off.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Seán on July 03, 2016, 10:14:17 pm
Gutted.

Still, paddling. Everybody wins.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on July 03, 2016, 11:13:20 pm
I know chillies aren't as interesting as ducks, but I've got a bunch of habaneros coming now. Thought the ghost pepper plant had died but it appears to be making a comeback. Still no peppers on it though.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Seán on July 04, 2016, 06:37:33 am
Apparently, the world's hottest chilli was cultivated in Grantham a few years back. Grantham. What's that all about?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on August 13, 2016, 07:55:31 pm
We've inherited a very attractive and established tree in the front garden of our new house - I think a silver birch. However, it's about 10 feet from the property (on the boundary edge) and stands probably 10-15 feet higher than the top of the roof. It doesn't overhang any neighbouring houses, but wondered two things:

1) Is it wise to have a tree that tall, especially given we live on a fairly tight housing estate?
2) What would be a reasonable budget to have a tree surgeon come and lop it back a bit? Has anyone employed one before?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Lessred on August 13, 2016, 08:51:34 pm
We paid £1500 to have three trees removed, so to trim I would guess £300?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on August 13, 2016, 09:02:12 pm
Last time we hired someone to cut back our trees it was a couple of blokes who knocked on the door and offered their services, I think we paid about £150. I was sitting at my desk in front of the window about half an hour later when I heard a yell, looked up and saw a bloke and his chainsaw plummeting to the ground. Luckily he got away with not much more than a big graze, but it did make me think that we should probably have asked to see some credentials, like maybe a licence.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on August 14, 2016, 12:01:20 am

We've inherited a very attractive and established tree in the front garden of our new house - I think a silver birch. However, it's about 10 feet from the property (on the boundary edge) and stands probably 10-15 feet higher than the top of the roof. It doesn't overhang any neighbouring houses, but wondered two things:

1) Is it wise to have a tree that tall, especially given we live on a fairly tight housing estate?
2) What would be a reasonable budget to have a tree surgeon come and lop it back a bit? Has anyone employed one before?


f*ck that. Ingo, a chainsaw, and some red diesel.  Sorted.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on August 14, 2016, 06:50:47 am
My late planted green beans are doing well. Need a warm september...
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on August 14, 2016, 09:33:10 am
Will be back home at the weekend after four weeks away. Wonder what the beans and toms will look like. Daughter has allegedly been watering them.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on August 15, 2016, 07:49:55 am

Will be back home at the weekend after four weeks away. Wonder what the beans and toms will look like. Daughter has allegedly been watering them.


"It wasn't my fault, they dies of natural causes"
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on September 01, 2016, 12:25:57 pm
We have a gardener who got his mate round to quote for trimming about 5 Yew trees running up our drive. Came back with £250.

I would do it myself but we live in a conservation zone so they get sniffy about hacking around trees when you don't know what you are doing.

Feel like £250 is steep. Gardens are a money pit!
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on September 01, 2016, 12:51:06 pm
Ingo with a chainsaw, and some red diesel is what you need.  Or a mini digger....which came as a bit of a shock to the nesting pidgeons that staggered out after their home turned 180 degrees with a thump.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on September 01, 2016, 12:56:04 pm
I think the best way I can help here is do Art a hi-vis vest with Art's Arboriculture printed on the back for £5 and let him crack on looking quite the pro. Until he starts work at least anyway.

If it's a days work I'd say £250 is about right.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on September 01, 2016, 01:07:07 pm
I don't know - would trimming back 5 yew trees and a holly be a days work? I thought it would be more like 1/2 days work, but what do I know?

Apparently we have to get permission from Newark and Sherwood council as well. I need to get permission to spend money which I don't want to spend
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on September 01, 2016, 01:16:38 pm

I need to get permission to spend money which I don't want to spend


You are Fawaz and I claim my £50.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: redeye on September 04, 2016, 07:37:43 am
Do it yourself. Who is going to take note? If eventually someone does, claim ignorance but be very keen to ask all details of how to be legal. Then make occasional comments like, "ooh, I don't think Mrs Turner across the road is aware of this, she is always trimming her bush".
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on September 22, 2016, 04:14:03 am

I know chillies aren't as interesting as ducks, but I've got a bunch of habaneros coming now. Thought the ghost pepper plant had died but it appears to be making a comeback. Still no peppers on it though.


Not as interesting as ducks, strawberries or trees, but my chilli plants took off big time. Made a batch of sauce tonight. Habanero sauce is very hot and very tasty. Ghost peppers sauce is insane. Still have a big tub of chillies in the fridge and a sh!tload more on the plants still ripening. Anyone got a good sauce recipe I can try? Might as well make a few different ones.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on September 22, 2016, 07:01:16 am

Ghost peppers sauce is insane.


Don't you have to handle these extremely carefully? I seem to recall watching a couple of YouTube videos where young bucks at American house parties made the mistake of taking a bite out of a ghost chilli in an ill-advised bid to impress some ladies.

Usually resulted in them curled up in a ball at the edge of the pool convulsing and crying for their mommy.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on September 22, 2016, 09:29:41 am
Sounds like a brilliant recipe. Can Russ try that?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on September 22, 2016, 09:45:51 am
I'd probably do it for £30, it's only a plant ain't it.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on September 22, 2016, 11:10:27 am
I have a tasty atropa belladonna ice cream you might like to try Ingo.  I'm sure we can scrape £30 together as payment.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on September 22, 2016, 01:42:37 pm

Don't you have to handle these extremely carefully? I seem to recall watching a couple of YouTube videos where young bucks at American house parties made the mistake of taking a bite out of a ghost chilli in an ill-advised bid to impress some ladies.

Usually resulted in them curled up in a ball at the edge of the pool convulsing and crying for their mommy.


You do need to be a little careful, I always use my Slap Chop for very hot chillies. Means I don't have to worry about handling them while chopping.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on September 22, 2016, 02:20:00 pm

I'd probably do it for £30, it's only a plant ain't it.


I'm sure we could arrange a 30-quid whip-round...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlKAdGDaYwA
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: pantzcat on September 24, 2016, 11:10:18 am

I always use my Slap Chop for very hot chillies..


Your what?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: jp on September 24, 2016, 11:28:14 am
It's a euphemism.


For his gentleman parts.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on February 24, 2017, 02:53:32 pm
Relevant thread rescue! Just mowed the top half inch off my lawn.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on February 24, 2017, 03:29:19 pm

Your what?


Thread rescue alerts me to the fact that I didn't answer this question.

https://www.slapchop.com/

I'm usually dismissive of stupid kitchen gadgets but this is a genuinely brilliant thing; I tend to use it for ginger, garlic and chillies because you can get a super fine dice far quicker than you can with a blade and as per the original discussion, you don't have to worry about impregnating your fingers when you're chopping very hot chillies.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Seán on February 28, 2017, 12:44:50 pm
Ah, yes. I did enjoy this thread in years gone by. Even if for most of its existence I've lived in a flat.


I might buy a small window box for my next project.

Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on February 28, 2017, 01:28:06 pm
My gardener has decided to start coming round again, after disappearing for most of winter for his second job as a van driver.

He says the garden is looking great. I think it looks like a sh*t heap
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on February 28, 2017, 01:30:02 pm

Relevant thread rescue! Just mowed the top half inch off my lawn.


Was considering a first mow of the year at the weekend but the rain let me off. Maybe next week.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on February 28, 2017, 01:43:23 pm
This year I am determined to tip the balance in favour of the grass as opposed to moss in my lawn.

Anyone have a petrol scarifier they want to sell?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on February 28, 2017, 02:08:59 pm

This year I am determined to tip the balance in favour of the grass as opposed to moss in my lawn.

Anyone have a petrol scarifier they want to sell?


I got Green Thumb round to do their winter treatment, which includes a load of iron to kill the moss. I raked it all out (with the help of the old man, in exchange for food and beer afterwards) a couple of weeks ago - got a sh!tload of dead grass out at the same time.

Looked horrendous when we'd finished but is recovering nicely. Will probably give it another go when the lawn's dried out again and before Green Thumb come back to give it a Spring feed.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on March 07, 2017, 09:49:33 am
There's currently an attempted pigeon-rape* going on my garden.



* by another pigeon.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: jp on March 07, 2017, 10:02:26 am
Isn't that just what pigeons regard as 'mating'?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on March 07, 2017, 10:06:33 am

Isn't that just what pigeons regard as 'mating'?


Apologist.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on March 07, 2017, 10:29:13 am

Isn't that just what pigeons regard as 'mating'?


Have you considered a bit of criminal defence practice, m'lud? I like bit of mating and a competent lawyer might be handy on occasion. There also seems like there's a fair bit of murdering goes on from here, Death himself surely has a case or two to answer, and Jim likes a dip in a flatmates knicker draw.... So there should be plenty of work.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: jp on March 07, 2017, 10:31:43 am

Have you considered a bit of criminal defence practice, m'lud? I like bit of mating


With PIGEONS?!
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on March 07, 2017, 11:24:03 am

With PIGEONS?!


I thought it was only sheep that was a problem?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on March 21, 2017, 12:31:12 pm
Anyone bought an electric scarifier for the lawn?

I've decided to invest some time and effort this year into sorting ours out and have already discovered that raking out the moss and dead stuff by hand is both time-consuming and back-breaking.

Looks like you can pick up a fairly basic one from Argos for about 80 sheets. If I've got to scarify a number of times a year, it might save some time down the line.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on June 28, 2017, 12:24:34 pm
Found a green football (not mine) in a bit of the garden I hadn't previously cut back yesterday. Pretty sure it must have belonged the the previous (nearly 2 years now) occupants. No forwarding address, so tough luck, it's mine now!
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on June 28, 2017, 12:34:27 pm
Could it be a melon?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on June 28, 2017, 01:06:02 pm
Could it be a melon?
If it's left it's garden untended for two years, you would have to think it possible.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: jp on June 28, 2017, 01:07:08 pm
Found a green football (not mine) in a bit of the garden I hadn't previously cut back yesterday. Pretty sure it must have belonged the the previous (nearly 2 years now) occupants. No forwarding address, so tough luck, it's mine now!

Wow. What a result.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on July 19, 2017, 02:52:51 pm
Bought a Waspinator today.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/gardening/gardeningadvice/8659504/Waspinator-is-an-effective-wasp-deterrent.html
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: RC on July 19, 2017, 07:21:44 pm
Planted some Jalapeños about 4 weeks or so ago.

Have them getting plenty of sun by the patio window and they've grown pretty big so I've re-potted them in a larger pot with fresh compost and they seem to be doing well.
Dunno if they'll fruit or not, but if they do they'll be all over some nachos.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on July 19, 2017, 07:59:39 pm
Attempted to get rid of three large ant nests in the middle of the garden. Have made a bit of a mess of the lawn...
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on July 19, 2017, 09:57:27 pm
Attempted to get rid of three large ant nests in the middle of the garden. Have made a bit of a mess of the lawn...

What did you do? I have same problem and want to learn from your mistakes!!
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on July 19, 2017, 10:14:01 pm
Attempted to get rid of three large ant nests in the middle of the garden. Have made a bit of a mess of the lawn...
What did you do? I have same problem and want to learn from your mistakes!!

To be fair, the mounds were bereft of grass anyway, but I eased some of the soil back with a fork and poured a kettle of boiling water down. Hopefully it will grow back in time.

Thing is, you need to kill the queen to destroy the nest and apparently she's often deep underground.

Nippon Gel is supposed to be pretty good. Might go with that next if this doesn't work.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on July 19, 2017, 10:16:58 pm
To be fair, the mounds were bereft of grass anyway, but I eased some of the soil back with a fork and poured a kettle of boiling water down. Hopefully it will grow back in time.

Thing is, you need to kill the queen to destroy the nest and apparently she's often deep underground.

Nippon Gel is supposed to be pretty good. Might go with that next if this doesn't work.

I would suggest consulting Ingo if you need further attempts. His recommendation will probably involve an SDS drill and a significant quantity of petrol, it might not be successful but it will be fun.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: garf on July 19, 2017, 11:43:23 pm
I've given up on gardening; last 3 years trying to grow tomatoes have yielded about 2 punnets of fruit.
Given that the tending of said plants is done during work time I reckon those tomatoes have likely cost my customers tens if not hundreds of pounds per fruit. I managed to grow one onion and a handful of potatoes in the same period.

But last week we had a decorator in and for reasons I don't quite understand one day he gave me a coriander plant. He'd told me the day before and the way he described it I imagined something I was going to need a machete to get under control. What turned up was a pot with a sad looking inch high sprout. I stuck it in the corner of the garden; intending to bin it once he had gone and feelings did not need to be spared. I've tried to grow coriander before and it was even less successful than my attempts at onions.

But I saw it today and it's grown to two feet high. I'm thinking I should leave it alone as it's best chances don't involve my gardening skills.

Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on August 02, 2017, 10:33:27 am
Pondering whether, the next time I mow the lawn, to experiment with up and down, rather than across on a slight diagonal as on previous attempts.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Dave Rave on August 02, 2017, 10:35:07 am
Cutting edge stuff.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on August 02, 2017, 01:27:16 pm
Pondering whether, the next time I mow the lawn, to experiment with up and down, rather than across on a slight diagonal as on previous attempts.

Interestingly, I'm the opposite. Currently on a diagonal mow.

In other exciting news, I'm battling three ants' nests in the lawn - little buggers proving hard to shift and making a right mess of the grass.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on August 02, 2017, 01:38:15 pm
Interestingly, I'm the opposite. Currently on a diagonal mow.

In other exciting news, I'm battling three ants' nests in the lawn - little buggers proving hard to shift and making a right mess of the grass.
I have to cut my grass....currently looking a bit wildflower meadow.  Also need to investigate the ants nest humps I stamped down in the wet.  See if the little b@stards have rebuilt.
Probably wont bother any time soon.  I like meadows.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on August 02, 2017, 02:55:09 pm

In other exciting news, I'm battling three ants' nests in the lawn - little buggers proving hard to shift and making a right mess of the grass.

Have you tried the Nippon Sachet stuff?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on August 02, 2017, 04:19:16 pm
The only way to deal with ants is fire.

Ingo Snr once had an ants nest next to his to ornate conifers. A litre or so of petrol later and the job was sorted. There was collateral damage.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on August 02, 2017, 04:38:28 pm
Have you tried the Nippon Sachet stuff?

No, sprinkled some stuff down on Saturday which could also be mixed in with water and poured over, so thought that was a good option given the amount of rain at the moment. Need to get out and see if it's made any difference - I doubt it.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on August 02, 2017, 05:12:06 pm
No, sprinkled some stuff down on Saturday which could also be mixed in with water and poured over, so thought that was a good option given the amount of rain at the moment. Need to get out and see if it's made any difference - I doubt it.

I think that's similar stuff. As long as you aren't wasting time with the powder.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Richoriginal on August 03, 2017, 07:46:41 am
Blitz popcorn kernels in the blender to make a powder and spread that around where the ants are. Works a treat.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on August 03, 2017, 08:01:01 am
Blitz popcorn kernels in the blender to make a powder and spread that around where the ants are. Works a treat.

What, that kills them? Or do they just go out and buy a big TV and a Netflix subscription?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on August 03, 2017, 08:16:26 am
Popcorn my arse. The only language they understand is fire.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Richoriginal on August 03, 2017, 08:45:09 am
They eat it cause it smells so good to their little noses but they can't digest it so they starve to death. Cruel, gruesome and you've not set fire to your garden.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on August 03, 2017, 09:16:57 am
You guys spend a lot of time and energy worrying about ants...
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on August 03, 2017, 10:23:19 am
You guys spend a lot of time and energy worrying about ants...

I'm currently spending around 80 quid a year on seasonal lawn treatments (don't tell Ingo...), so could do without three or four large barren patches of grass spoiling the aesthetic.

But you're right, of course. It's the very definition of a first-world problem.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on September 25, 2017, 10:00:30 am
Bumper conker harvest this year.

Looks like conker sandwiches, conker curry, conker stew for the whole winter.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on September 25, 2017, 10:14:14 am
That old chestunt again: what to do with all the conkers?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: jp on September 25, 2017, 11:25:01 am
Soup.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: redeye on September 25, 2017, 12:10:13 pm
Isn't it conker tarts for people you don't like this year, or is that beetroot I'm thinking of?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on October 30, 2017, 03:16:53 pm
Latest in lawn mowing news - realised yesterday that the rotary washing line is easily removed for mowing and just as easily replanted afterwards, thus making mowing approximately 3% easier.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on October 30, 2017, 04:03:50 pm
Also mowing yesterday. Despite my efforts at scarifying and mosskilling a couple of weeks ago, I note that there is still a sh!t load of moss.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on October 30, 2017, 04:09:30 pm
I also mowed the lawn at the weekend. There is loads of moss in it, but as we're hoping to move house it will be somebody else's problem next year.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Lessred on October 30, 2017, 04:10:29 pm
We use green thumb #mossfree

(I also mowed at the weekend - hopefully the last of the year)
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on October 30, 2017, 05:02:07 pm
I don't mow because I no longer have a lawn. Covered half of it with a big deck and the other half we tore up and replaced with artfully arranged slabs, stones, gravel, planters and so on. Grass is sh!t.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on October 30, 2017, 05:05:19 pm
I don't mow because I no longer have a lawn. Covered half of it with a big deck and the other half we tore up and replaced with artfully arranged slabs, stones, gravel, planters and so on. Grass is sh!t.

That's roughly what I intend to do with my new (small) garden. Raised beds for veg, gravel area, maybe a water feature and some climbers around the edges. No grass, save for a small bit of artificial stuff for the dog to use.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on October 30, 2017, 05:13:50 pm
That's roughly what I intend to do with my new (small) garden. Raised beds for veg, gravel area, maybe a water feature and some climbers around the edges. No grass, save for a small bit of artificial stuff for the dog to use.

We just bought big river stones, probably a couple of inches or so wide, for the dogs' area. Easy to pick up the turds and a rain shower or a blast with the hose gets rid of any odours.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on October 31, 2017, 03:22:54 pm
Unfortunately, getting rid of the grass is not an option until the little one gets older. I could get artificial grass, but it looks sh!t and I suspect that cleaning dog turd from artificial grass will be just as tedious as cleaning a floor.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on April 06, 2018, 08:52:55 pm
Also mowing yesterday. Despite my efforts at scarifying and mosskilling a couple of weeks ago, I note that there is still a sh!t load of moss.

Spent two and a half hours scarifying the lawns tonight using a new tool I bought. Then reseeded the bald patches and chucked down some compost to help the seed grow in time for this weekend's rain.

It was hard work but quite satisfying - filled more than half the wheelie bin with moss and dead grass. Green Thumb coming out to do the spring treatment in a couple of weeks.

If my lawns are not looking like bowling greens in a few weeks, I'm ringing the Daily Mail immediately.

My Friday night beers are going down quicker than usual.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Seven on April 06, 2018, 09:50:01 pm
I'm still yet to give a flying f*ck what my grass looks like, I like to keep it short but that's about it. Is lawn care an age thing? I'll be 36 in May.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: DaveM on April 07, 2018, 12:49:52 pm
I just pay a man to sort my garden out
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on April 07, 2018, 03:19:24 pm
Spent two and a half hours scarifying the lawns tonight using a new tool I bought. Then reseeded the bald patches and chucked down some compost to help the seed grow in time for this weekend's rain.

It was hard work but quite satisfying - filled more than half the wheelie bin with moss and dead grass. Green Thumb coming out to do the spring treatment in a couple of weeks.

If my lawns are not looking like bowling greens in a few weeks, I'm ringing the Daily Mail immediately.

My Friday night beers are going down quicker than usual.

I am looking to buy a scarifier - what did you use and would you recommend?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: garf on April 07, 2018, 09:24:17 pm
I just pay a man to sort my garden out

Risky.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on April 07, 2018, 10:02:36 pm
I'm still yet to give a flying f*ck what my grass looks like, I like to keep it short but that's about it. Is lawn care an age thing? I'll be 36 in May.

I'll be 44 in May, and I have never given a f*ck about my lawn. My lack of f*cks given reached the point last year of me digging up the grass, building a big f*ck off deck over three quarters of the garden and covering the other quarter in paving slabs, expensive stones and planters.

Lawns are bullsh!t.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on April 07, 2018, 10:18:34 pm
I am looking to buy a scarifier - what did you use and would you recommend?

Bought this one...

https://www.lawnsmith.co.uk/prod/lawn-aerator-scarifier/lawn-scarifier.htm

My lawns aren't quite large enough to justify a mechanical scarifyer. Impressed with this one. Very easy to use and cut a lot out of the grass on two sweeps.

If you have big lawns, though, you might be better to buy a lawnmower-style one. I was pretty knackered after two hours of using the manual one.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on April 08, 2018, 08:45:45 pm
Bought this one...

https://www.lawnsmith.co.uk/prod/lawn-aerator-scarifier/lawn-scarifier.htm

My lawns aren't quite large enough to justify a mechanical scarifyer. Impressed with this one. Very easy to use and cut a lot out of the grass on two sweeps.

If you have big lawns, though, you might be better to buy a lawnmower-style one. I was pretty knackered after two hours of using the manual one.

I have a large lawn so looking for a petrol scarifier. Can't even find a cheap second hand one. Lawn neurosis has been growing since i turned 42. Which also corresponded with buying a house with a large lawn. Weird.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on April 12, 2018, 05:20:57 pm
I'll be 44 in May, and I have never given a f*ck about my lawn. My lack of f*cks given reached the point last year of me digging up the grass, building a big f*ck off deck over three quarters of the garden and covering the other quarter in paving slabs, expensive stones and planters.

Lawns are bullsh!t.

Yes. I wouldn't really care if it wasn't for the fact that the dog picks up seemingly limitless amounts of mud to walk around the house each time he goes into the garden. The bald patches in the lawn are, possibly, larger than the bald patches on my head these days (although some way behind in % terms of course).
I'm re-evaluating the artificial grass route as my neighbour over the road had his garden done and it looks ok. I'll ask him how much it cost and all that.
In other gardening news, I managed to get out and cut the grass (what there is of it) at the weekend and do some planting in the hope of having some weather that actually allows us to sit outside and enjoy it in the next few weeks.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on April 12, 2018, 05:29:36 pm
I've hired a landscape gardener who is going to remove all our grass and replace it with slabs, gravel, raised beds and a bit of artificial grass for the dog to use. I was a bit sceptical about this fake grass but he showed me some and I changed my mind. It's very convincing.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on April 12, 2018, 05:31:44 pm
I've hired a landscape gardener who is going to remove all our grass and replace it with slabs, gravel, raised beds and a bit of artificial grass for the dog to use. I was a bit sceptical about this fake grass but he showed me some and I changed my mind. It's very convincing.

Yes. Doing political canvassing gives me a perfect opportunity to nosey around people's gardens and some of the artificial stuff is extremely good. Some is really sh!te of course, looking more like somone has laid green cloth over some mud, but I'm guessing you get what you pay for
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on April 12, 2018, 05:41:57 pm
The thing with artificial grass is that it can cause significant runoff problems. It was popular here for a while, but cities have enacted legislation against it because spring melt can't just soak into the ground any more and so it overloads the storm drains. I know that's not such an issue in the UK, but you should still consider where your rainwater is going to go if you drape what amounts to a big plastic sheet across your land.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on April 12, 2018, 05:48:55 pm
The thing with artificial grass is that it can cause significant runoff problems. It was popular here for a while, but cities have enacted legislation against it because spring melt can't just soak into the ground any more and so it overloads the storm drains. I know that's not such an issue in the UK, but you should still consider where your rainwater is going to go if you drape what amounts to a big plastic sheet across your land.

Yes, that is something that I have considered. The soil is clay and drains very poorly which is one of the reasons why the lawn is so sh!t. I figured they must have some sort of permeable layer that allows water to seep through?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on April 12, 2018, 06:09:52 pm
Yes, that is something that I have considered. The soil is clay and drains very poorly which is one of the reasons why the lawn is so sh!t. I figured they must have some sort of permeable layer that allows water to seep through?

Yeah, but a plastic sheet with lots of little holes in it is still a plastic sheet and the permeability is still going to be lower than that or grass-covered soil.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on April 12, 2018, 06:18:14 pm
Yeah, but a plastic sheet with lots of little holes in it is still a plastic sheet and the permeability is still going to be lower than that or grass-covered soil.

Grass-covered soil? My lawn is currently more like a WWI No-Man's land than grass-covered soil. Squelching across the hallowed lack of turf, I often wonder if I could make a usable dinner service from the cloying mass of sh!te that constitutes the soil.
As it is, when we have heavy rain, it sits on the surface of the grass for quite a number of hours; really heavy rain already streams towards the bottom of the garden anyway, so I'm not sure that a plastic sheet with lots of little holes in it will make that much difference.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on April 12, 2018, 06:29:45 pm
I guess it depends on how big an area you are planning to cover. Our lawn is pretty small so the impact of replacing it will be minor. Might be different if you’ve got acres of the stuff.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on April 12, 2018, 06:53:52 pm
Also worse here, where it's far from uncommon to have a foot of snow turn to water in the space of 2 or 3 days.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on September 02, 2018, 11:23:02 pm
After spending the whole summer doing nothing except get bigger, my Trinidad Scorpion plant has suddenly decided to bear vast quantities of fruit.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: pantzcat on September 03, 2018, 11:26:54 am
I appear to have a caterpillar invasion they are very quickly eating their way through all the box hedge plants.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on September 27, 2018, 01:06:29 am
Sampled my Trinidad Scorpions this evening.

Holy sh!t.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on May 13, 2019, 08:26:14 am
I have approx. 20m of 2' borders that I would like to fill with flowers and also some fast growing climbers that will cover the fence and shed. I'm after ground plants that an occasional waft with the hedge trimmer will sort. Ideally when we have visitors I would like them to think of me as some kind of horticultural god, which as it's all relative should be fairly easy, and that Ingo jr mk1 and mk2 will see stuff growing, if this encourages some wildlife too all the better. I'd like to plant it all in the next fortnight so I can forget about the whole sorry experience - being no longer used to working on the railroad all the live long day I'm broken today and sunburnt to f*ck after taking up the patio, edges and 10 ton of gravel so we can have a decent sized lawn - and of course I'm after cheap plants. What sort of plants do I need? So far I have one small conifer and 2 prickly things which I hope will teach the children the value of not touching sh!t you are told not to.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on May 13, 2019, 09:16:32 am
Make the kids grow some things from seed in yoghurt pots, then have them put them in the garden. Class project style.

It's vague, but it's all I've got for you given I know little about plants, or gardens, or children.

Peas. Sweet peas. Something in the back of my mind is saying that. 

I think the slugs like them best, or something.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on May 13, 2019, 10:13:48 am
Viola are very good for planting and leaving. I put some in last year and they've spread like crazy. Very little effort required to boot.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on May 13, 2019, 10:21:37 am
Viola are very good for planting and leaving. I out some in last year and they've spread like crazy. Very little effort required to boot.

Note for ingo: he's not talking about big violins.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on May 13, 2019, 04:53:59 pm
Bought my 2019 chilli plants. I have jalapeno, cayenne, Devil's Tongue, habanero, chocolate scorpion and Carolina Reaper.

Ingo, suggest you plant some of these. Then you can have the "told you not to touch that" plants and the "told you not to eat that" plants.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Rich B on May 17, 2019, 03:32:17 pm
I have approx. 20m of 2' borders that I would like to fill with flowers and also some fast growing climbers that will cover the fence and shed. I'm after ground plants that an occasional waft with the hedge trimmer will sort. Ideally when we have visitors I would like them to think of me as some kind of horticultural god, which as it's all relative should be fairly easy, and that Ingo jr mk1 and mk2 will see stuff growing, if this encourages some wildlife too all the better. I'd like to plant it all in the next fortnight so I can forget about the whole sorry experience - being no longer used to working on the railroad all the live long day I'm broken today and sunburnt to f*ck after taking up the patio, edges and 10 ton of gravel so we can have a decent sized lawn - and of course I'm after cheap plants. What sort of plants do I need? So far I have one small conifer and 2 prickly things which I hope will teach the children the value of not touching sh!t you are told not to.
Sunflower growing contest always goes down well.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on May 17, 2019, 04:04:21 pm
Sunflower growing contest always goes down well.

Indeed it does. We had some whoppers in our garden a couple of years ago.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: steve on May 17, 2019, 04:17:27 pm
And they look fabulous on a nice sunny day with a blue sky behind them.

Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on May 18, 2019, 07:31:35 am
Appreciate the input here. Lawn went down yesterday, 90m2 and after a week of graft shoehorned around work it seems I am no longer cutout for manual labour. Last Sunday took 12 hours to shift about 8 ton of gravel and 4 ton of bricks and slabs etc out and broke me in 3 pieces.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on May 18, 2019, 08:36:24 am
I love gardening. Find it very relaxing and the beer afterwards always goes down better after a day of manual toil.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: pantzcat on May 18, 2019, 10:22:30 am
Indeed it does. We had some whoppers in our garden a couple of years ago.
When I was a kid we had some massive sun flowers in the garden, they scared me sh!tless for some reason!
Still get a bit freaked out when I see one.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on May 18, 2019, 11:05:30 am
Grow some veg as well as flowers. If the kids are old enough, give them a small patch to call their own and look after. Choose easy veg like courgettes, runner beans (which look great too, on a wigwam of canes) or even spuds if you have room.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on May 18, 2019, 11:41:08 am
When I was a kid we had some massive sun flowers in the garden, they scared me sh!tless for some reason!
Still get a bit freaked out when I see one.

I can understand why. I nicknamed ours triffids.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on May 19, 2019, 09:30:56 am
What's the best way to remove algae from fence panels before re-painting? I don't tell want to use the pressure washer because some of the wood is knocking on a bit and I'm not convinced it'll stand up to it.

I was presuming just a wire brush, face mask and elbow grease.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Rich B on May 19, 2019, 02:48:40 pm
Rip fence down,
Burn it.
Replace with new.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on May 19, 2019, 02:51:23 pm
What's the best way to remove algae from fence panels before re-painting? I don't tell want to use the pressure washer because some of the wood is knocking on a bit and I'm not convinced it'll stand up to it.

I was presuming just a wire brush, face mask and elbow grease.

If your fence is so delicate that it can't withstand the pressure washer then it's not worth taking the time to clean and repaint.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on May 19, 2019, 02:56:17 pm
If your fence is so delicate that it can't withstand the pressure washer then it's not worth taking the time to clean and repaint.

He could try wiping his nob over it first....
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dunc on May 19, 2019, 05:14:22 pm
He could try wiping his nob over it first....

Splinters.

Mind you, they would take his mind off figuring out what to do with the fence
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on May 19, 2019, 05:45:53 pm
Knob wiping is for fixing technology, as any fool should know.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on May 20, 2019, 08:25:34 am
If your fence is so delicate that it can't withstand the pressure washer then it's not worth taking the time to clean and repaint.

I'd say you'd do just as much damage with a wire brush. Just paint over the top of it, if the fence is on the way out it will probabaly see it through.

In Ingo garden news seeds have been purchased and planted. I may have gone slightly overboard on the boarders but still. For reference we have approx. 15m of boarder about 40cm wide, in 2 runs, one along the east side and the bottom one running along the south, the north is lawn upto our deck and the west the lawn runs too the path with the rabbit hutches on and the shed. In order to provide some instant plant we spent £8 on 18 boarder plants that have gone in the bottom border. We then reused the pots so Ingo jrs could plant some seeds with the remainder going in the ground and hopefully still give us some plants if the ones straight into the boarder fail.

So seeds, firstly I adhered to the talkback advice pretty much to the letter. Kidney beans - we have 6 of them in pots and approx. 40 in the ground along the fence. These were all planted by Ingo Jr Snr who can't stop the beat planting, if all these come well, we'll be in a world of beans. Slight wormhole - We used to have a big kitchen garden at the farm and grow probably a 60m run of these. Beardsley developed a taste for raw kidney beans that had gone slightly over. One afternoon and did little else for 2 hours but pod and eat raw beans, probably eating 2-300. He went home feeling unwell. 3 days later he returned to school having stopped throwing up and his was banned from going to the farm for a month. Anyhoo, should these not take we will still hopefully have 6 in pots to create the wigwam. The slight flaw in all this is Mrs Ingo doesn't like beans, I'm pretty non-plussed by them and Ingo Jr's are yet to try them. Still, beans.

Next we got some sunflowers. Again 6 have gone into pots, the rest straight into the ground. I, of course, selected the biggest although I doubt with this late planting they will actually grow to 16'. They are called Kong F1 which is not a suitable nickname for Lewis Hamilton, at least not outside the safe space of my head. Again I've gambled on not all these growing as looking at the picture on the front of the packet we'll be f*cked if they do, the other half of the street will be protesting about their right to light.

Moving on Ingo Jr Snr selected £5 worth variety pack sweet peas. One packet of the smaller ones have gone into 4 pots on the deck. The rest all along the boarder against the fence. Hopefully with some wire we can train these up the fence and then, if Beardsley doesn't want to eat beans like it's 1993, we can thin the beans and let the sweet peas grow.

Finally I got a pack of 150 buddleja seeds. I've stuck the lot in. Lets see what happens.

I also invested in an up and over sprinkler which covers the whole garden in one pass so hopefully everything including the lawn will now start growing like f*ck. Watch this space.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on May 20, 2019, 09:07:28 am
My old veg patch has been completely abandoned and it's gone wild so I am planning to bring it back to life. All the old raised bed boards have rotted away so need to be completely rebuilt. Any idea where to get cheap tanalised timber from? I know scaffold boards seem to be the standard answer but the quality seems very hit and miss and still quite pricey. Also good top soil?

I am building 3 raised beds of 2.5m x 2.5m
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: steve on May 20, 2019, 09:18:02 am
I made some beds out of decking boards a couple of years ago. They do the job and look more garden-y than allotment-y.

We are growing veg with a relaxed experimentation outlook to see what works well at the moment and not worrying too much about the outcome. Currently we've got potatoes, courgettes, cabbages, cauliflower, brussels, broad beans, french beans, carrots, parsnips, peas, radishes, strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries and of course rhubarb going, albeit in mostly small quantities. We've made frames with netting to sit on some of the beds and protect them from birds, as they tend to like gobbling up small green plants.


Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on May 20, 2019, 09:19:41 am
Scaffold boards? Railway sleepers, surely? There's a retail outlet on the owthorpe road just up the hill out of sunny Cotgrave, next to the a46 junction.

Railway sleepers appear to not be as cheap as they once were.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Art on May 20, 2019, 09:28:40 am
Scaffold boards? Railway sleepers, surely? There's a retail outlet on the owthorpe road just up the hill out of sunny Cotgrave, next to the a46 junction.

Railway sleepers appear to not be as cheap as they once were.

Thanks. Railway sleepers are really expensive and difficult to get in the right size. Granted they look great but not found any that fit the bill.

Scaffold boards seem really variable. There are so many on internet and the quality seems really variable so there seems a big chance of being ripped off with some sh!t boards
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on May 20, 2019, 09:37:35 am
Has anyone used railway sleepers? How much are they?

@Ingo let me know how you get on with the sweetpea. I tried growing them a few times and always kill the b@stards.

Karl Mark: Expecting Percy Thrower on TalkBack...
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on May 20, 2019, 09:38:31 am
Scaffold boards should have a metal trim to protect the ends. You don't want that. If it's not of sufficient quality to have that feature, then you don't want those.

The decking route seems the next best. Although I'd be seriously tempted to use something like concrete gravel boards.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on May 20, 2019, 09:51:12 am
@Ingo let me know how you get on with the sweetpea. I tried growing them a few times and always kill the b@stards.

My Grandad used to grow a lot of these, I'm hoping it's genetic. It can't be that hard can it?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on May 20, 2019, 10:26:09 am
My Grandad used to grow a lot of these, I'm hoping it's genetic. It can't be that hard can it?

The main thing I've learnt from gardening is that some plants are easier to grow than others. No idea why, so I tend to just stick with the easier ones. I've never tried growing sweet pea in pots, so the only thing I really know is they don't like clay soil.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on May 20, 2019, 11:51:19 am
For best results, sow sweet peas in the autumn. Hope this helps.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on May 20, 2019, 03:12:36 pm
Funnily enough I spent the last two days building planters, I used deck boards. If you do though, make sure to seal the inside with a good quality stain as you don't want the chemicals they use to pressure treat the boards leaching into the soil and then into your courgettes.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on May 23, 2019, 08:11:24 am
No seeds poking through yet. I remember now my main issue with gardening, everything takes f*cking ages.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on May 23, 2019, 03:39:59 pm
Knocked off work a couple of hours early to get some fence panels painted in the sun ahead of the weekend when we have guests.

Rock 'n' roll. Nobody told me it would be like this when I was in my early 20s.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: tricky on May 23, 2019, 03:42:37 pm
Poke your guests in the eyes, save yourself a couple of hours.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on May 31, 2019, 07:57:13 am
@karlmark the sweetpeas have started poking through, will keep you in the loop. In other news it's the lawns first cut tonight. Some of the sunflowers are also up but f*ck all from the beans yet and I can't work out if I've got 150 buddleia plants poking through or just weeds. I'll update next week.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on June 07, 2019, 07:15:11 am
Sweetpeas are about 2 inches tall now, at what stage do I need to invest in some sticks? The beans planted in pots seem to have made a good start so they have been planted out this week. Mixed results with the sunflowers but we seem to have about 10-12 good plants on the go. No movement from the buddleia. This week Ingo Jr Sr has put in some more seeds thanks to the good people at Mr Men marketing dept. Daisy's, pumpkins (my hopes aren't great on this one) and also some beginning with N. The lawn is splendid and bolted following it's first cut, I want to cut it again tonight and then next Thursday so hopefully it is in ideal condition for my Le Mans BBQ next weekend. I'll be back same time next week with another riveting instalment.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Richoriginal on June 07, 2019, 07:27:06 am
Sweetpeas are about 2 inches tall now, at what stage do I need to invest in some sticks?

I'll invest 12p.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: BrettWilliams on June 07, 2019, 08:47:08 am
I'm becoming far too obsessed with my lawns. To the point that I'm welcoming the forecast rain today and tomorrow to help green them up a bit before mowing again.

Send for help...
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Loafé on June 07, 2019, 09:19:46 am
Sweetpeas are about 2 inches tall now, at what stage do I need to invest in some sticks? The beans planted in pots seem to have made a good start so they have been planted out this week. Mixed results with the sunflowers but we seem to have about 10-12 good plants on the go. No movement from the buddleia. This week Ingo Jr Sr has put in some more seeds thanks to the good people at Mr Men marketing dept. Daisy's, pumpkins (my hopes aren't great on this one) and also some beginning with N. The lawn is splendid and bolted following it's first cut, I want to cut it again tonight and then next Thursday so hopefully it is in ideal condition for my Le Mans BBQ next weekend. I'll be back same time next week with another riveting instalment.

2 inches eh? Mine are three foot tall and have been flowering for a month.  The trick is to sow them the autumn before. Once more Loafe shows his superiority to the Ingo. Any subject, any time. Boom.

Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on June 07, 2019, 10:09:58 am
3 whole feet, if you look down at you feet you must be able to seem them. Modest goals = modest achievement loaf.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on June 07, 2019, 10:46:10 am
Just measured my sweet peas and they are 2ft tall. Planted as young plants, not as seeds though. Three of my aliums are over 7ft.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: garf on June 07, 2019, 11:14:12 am
Just measured my sweet peas and they are 2ft tall. Planted as young plants, not as seeds though. Three of my aliums are over 7ft.

I was going to ask what you  use for compost, then realised who I was talking to and thought better of it.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on June 07, 2019, 11:32:55 am
I was going to ask what you  use for compost, then realised who I was talking to and thought better of it.

Just like graveyards by medieval churches, the ground in Charlie's back garden is a foot higher than normal...
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on June 07, 2019, 12:10:51 pm
Just regular soil with a bit of soil improver. Having said that, blood and bone would do a great job.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on June 14, 2019, 06:52:25 am
£20 on a sprinkler, investment of the year that.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on June 14, 2019, 10:06:12 am
£20 on a sprinkler, investment of the year that.

I'm assuming you bought it just before Noah finished building his ark on Monday?
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on June 14, 2019, 10:54:19 am
I'm assuming you bought it just before Noah finished building his ark on Monday?

Rubbish, the best time to buy sprinklers is during a Biblical flood, prices go through the floor.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: dunc on July 10, 2019, 03:56:39 pm
Our cucumber and aubergine plants have all been overcome by a fungal disease - only got 2 cukes from 5 plants. Spuds haven't done well this year either.

Meh
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Russ on July 13, 2019, 10:43:29 pm
The first chilli plant to produce fruit is one of the cayennes.

The habaneros are lagging a long way behind all of the other varietals and need to get their sh!t together.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: Jeff on July 19, 2019, 09:00:45 am
Sunflowers are going like one-o.
Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: karlmark on August 10, 2019, 12:39:58 pm
I've been too busy to properly tend to my roses this year. As a result, the roses in the front garden have a horrible sawfly infestation. In the past couple of years, I kept a close eye on them and prevented the b@stards laying any eggs, but this year, the leaves have been decimated.

Title: Re: Gardeners' World
Post by: charlie on August 10, 2019, 06:10:50 pm
My tumbling tom plant is enormous.