Nottm Forest Forum

The Business End => Ingo's 'ave it. => Topic started by: Jeff on June 08, 2018, 09:18:01 am

Title: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 08, 2018, 09:18:01 am
Seeing as I have got my own board I might as well contribute a bit.

Trying to find staff is doing my head in. If I get one more CV that features any of the following I may finally lose the plot completely:

1) The phrase "I like music and am trying to release my own single".
2) xbox listed as a hobby.
3) A link to their facebook page where they bang on about how much they love drugs.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 08, 2018, 10:46:57 am
Just been to Bingham to get some lunch. A bloke was blocking the entrance to the car park waiting for a space, a big chap in his 50/60's who looks like he voted Brexit and hates Muslims* with his big truck thing. I nipped round to leave as I couldn't be arsed to wait but then a woman pulled out near the exit so I grabbed her space. Went and got a cob and came back, still sat there and then took my space as I left. Winner.

*any similarities to persons alive or dead is purely coincidental
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 11, 2018, 12:14:50 pm
I think I'm racist when it comes to music. I've long since hated rap, garage etc. Went to see Lionel Richie last night with Mrs Ingo. First half of his show did a lot of funk and soul sh!t I hated, then he starts on with a bit of power ballard guitaring stuff and I think actually this is alright. Then it dawns on me, I am clearly a massive racist b@stard.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 12, 2018, 08:21:02 pm
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 13, 2018, 07:40:58 am
Graft is: Spending 14 hours digging a big f*ck off hole.


Graft is not: Spending 20 minutes sat in the sun in your Speedos rattling off some bogus defamatory chit chat moan about someone sat just within earshot, to a woman sat in the absolute minimum clothing requirement for a pre-watershed trailer who is only pretending to listen whilst she dreams of being the one nobody has ever heard of in "I'm a Celebrity".
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 13, 2018, 08:13:27 pm
Le Mans is on!
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 13, 2018, 08:14:19 pm
Le Mans is on!

Well it's not right now, practice finished at 7 and q1 starts at 9 (22:00 local time,).
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 13, 2018, 08:14:48 pm
Either way, I've started drinking.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on June 14, 2018, 10:51:28 am
Are you still drinking?
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 14, 2018, 11:34:48 am
No, I'm at work dickhead. Earning to pay for tonight's booze.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 14, 2018, 05:01:50 pm
Grenfell Tower fire was a year ago, I thought that was only about 3 months ago.

Also, just found 20 quid, result.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 15, 2018, 02:20:49 pm
I have eaten sh!t all f*cking day.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on June 15, 2018, 03:12:14 pm
I have eaten sh!t all f*cking day.

Do you mean you've eaten crap food all day, or you've not eaten at all, today?
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: tricky on June 15, 2018, 03:16:54 pm
I assumed that he meant he's been eating actual excrement. Given some of the things I've seen him eat, I really wouldn't put it past him.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 15, 2018, 09:15:14 pm
Enjoyed that game, started wanting Spain to lose but then decided I hate Ronaldos smugness more so happy with a draw. Well done all concerned, basically Iberia.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 16, 2018, 01:44:45 pm
Watched most of the France game but missed all the goals. Well done Ingo.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 18, 2018, 04:06:24 pm
Where on earth do you come from? Engerland, do you put the kettle on?


I've only ever had one cup of tea in my life, hated it.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: redeye on June 18, 2018, 04:34:12 pm
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Bonjour
Nah Nah Nah
Monsieur
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 20, 2018, 09:09:34 pm
43 years ago today Jaws was released. Not 45, Not 40, 43. Who gives a merry f*ck.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 22, 2018, 08:36:29 pm
It is impossible when saying the word 'techno' not to say it 4 times.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Simon. Not Steve or Nazimon on June 22, 2018, 08:49:11 pm
Techno techno techno techno.

You're right
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 23, 2018, 08:13:51 am
You're right

No no, no no no no.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 26, 2018, 08:38:23 am
It's too hot in here today. Need to get some aircon. Is it expensive?
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: tricky on June 26, 2018, 09:28:52 am
Yes. Well there's a way that the answer is no. You can get some cheap stuff.. But it might be cold there in the winter so something that heats as well might be a prudent choice.

I bought at discount stock prices, and had wardle fit it with his mate one weekend for cash. Don't know if he still does that.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 27, 2018, 09:40:00 am
Lad at work is claiming a badger jumped out in front of him last night and smashed his car up. Didn't appreciate me pointing out the only the badgers that jump out and attack cars are ninja badgers and they are a bit thin on the ground, locally at least. He's clearly lost it and ditched it, I went out for a look and there's no badger fluff to be seen. I know this because I've 'hit a badger' and also 'slipped on some mud' before.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 27, 2018, 10:04:46 am
In other news I've got some rice to cook in the microwave, it says full power for 14 minutes. I expect it to come out with a half life.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 28, 2018, 11:29:57 am
I'm John, and this is Trevor.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on June 29, 2018, 11:57:26 am
Just spent 10 minutes waiting for a flypast from a Spitfire and a Hurricane outside work. We do quite a lot of RAF stuff so thought this would make a great picture if I could get the sign and planes in a shot. They were due at 11.45. After 10 minutes I was getting a bit f*cked off. Reread the Facebook post, they are coming over tomorrow for the Village Show, not a random Friday lunchtime. Makes more sense I suppose.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on June 30, 2018, 07:49:57 pm
Did you get the shot today?
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 03, 2018, 11:10:52 am
Did I f*ck, had to be away by 10 Saturday morning. Bugger.

Eng-ger-land tonight, 3-1 AET, you heard it here first.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on July 04, 2018, 08:13:28 am
Close. Ish.

How’s it going to pan out against the Sweden?
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 04, 2018, 08:18:32 am
2-0 cake walk for the good guys.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 06, 2018, 12:40:19 pm
Just seen a man smash up a toilet with a claw hammer. It was all very controlled.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: tricky on July 06, 2018, 01:09:47 pm
I trust safety equipment was deployed.  I imagine it's a hazardous enterprise.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 06, 2018, 02:24:15 pm
He had wellies on.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 09, 2018, 09:57:26 am
2 year old seems to think 4am is the perfect time to get up. I've chose the wrong week to give up Coke.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on July 09, 2018, 02:38:51 pm
Is that your older one or your younger one?

If its your older, then hang on in there. It does get better. When they're about 5.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 09, 2018, 06:24:59 pm
Is that your older one or your younger one?

If its your older, then hang on in there. It does get better. When they're about 5.

Great, halfway there. Bon Jovi would have something to say about that. On the plus side she can now say football's coming home.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 17, 2018, 10:55:20 am
Fell over running yesterday, my forearm looks like it's been dragged through a hedge backwards, which is almost try, just the direction of travel reversed.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 20, 2018, 08:42:31 am
With an 18mm effort I may have just broken my nose hair world record.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on July 20, 2018, 08:52:16 am
Good work. Some of my nose hair I now remove is grey. Sad times.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 21, 2018, 08:57:24 am
Just had an ebay order from "clobhead". That's going in my all time top 3 along with "MrsBlompy" and "jonnysnakehips".
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 24, 2018, 10:47:26 am
I appear to have upset my Achilles heel which seems to be my Achilles heel of late with regard to training. I’m listening to a song by Toploader called Achilles heel to distract me from the pain.

I did this last year (exact same week it seems) when we were in the lakes. It appears the 4th week of July is my Achilles heel.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: tricky on July 24, 2018, 12:06:26 pm
Is it an achilles injury, or a problem with the achilles because of other biomechanics? I've had some achiles pain recently, but it's related to ligament damage around the knee area causing me to pronate to accomodate the existing issue, leading to an achilles issue.....which has also caused me to do my hamstrings (with various levels of severity). Previously I was unaware that I even had hamstrings.

Anyway, if you are seeing repeat problems with your achilles it could be a pronation issue. It could just be that you are working your achilles too hard or irregularly, of course....but have a look at you biomechs.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 24, 2018, 01:24:46 pm
Interesting. This only happens when I'm doing 'fell' running. Also my trainers are knackered. I'll look into this cheers.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 24, 2018, 04:14:05 pm
In other news since moving the business to the new village I've noticed a Range Rover with the number plate "2 KOK". I can only think of one conceivable reason for purchasing this number plate but she really, really doesn't look the sort, in a kind of Queen Victoria sort of way. I can't really believe Prince Albert was ever allowed to bring a friend along.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: tricky on July 24, 2018, 05:31:02 pm
You should ask.  There may be a vacancy. Best to ask at which end before committing yourself.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on July 24, 2018, 08:30:16 pm
The 'new' village? Does this mean you've moved Ingo Productions Inc or you've built a brand new village from scratch.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: tricky on July 25, 2018, 12:03:19 am
The 'new' village? Does this mean you've moved Ingo Productions Inc or you've built a brand new village from scratch.
 I suspect it's made of lego, and the infant ingos vomit on it.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: redeye on July 25, 2018, 01:27:00 am
I thought it was a whole country. Did very well in the world cup, semi finalists. Ingoland.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on July 25, 2018, 07:56:07 am
The 'new' village? Does this mean you've moved Ingo Productions Inc or you've built a brand new village from scratch.

Ingo Industries is now based in East Bridgford in a proper unit, not a garage rebranded as a unit!
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: jp on July 29, 2018, 06:32:59 pm
Make room for the mushrooms!
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on August 02, 2018, 09:36:13 am
What's brown and sticky?
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on August 03, 2018, 08:10:25 am
I've decided on the name for my new tribute act - The Real Pretenders.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on August 07, 2018, 07:13:14 am
Ingo vs Staff continues as we enter the second week of our newest temp being off because he crashed his push bike on a cycle path.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on August 08, 2018, 12:47:49 pm
What's brown and sticky?

A chocolate donut?
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on August 10, 2018, 03:17:33 pm
A chocolate donut?

Your chocolate donut.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on August 17, 2018, 01:12:42 pm
The Ingos have a house, finally.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: tricky on August 17, 2018, 02:13:37 pm
That's that neighborhood shot then.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: jp on August 23, 2018, 11:32:11 am
Bring Out the Branston!
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on August 31, 2018, 06:34:29 am
Tried some of that 'Branston smooth' recently. Wasn't impressed. 3/10
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on August 31, 2018, 08:24:46 am
I don't mind it.

In Ingo would I have took to sending my mate anything I can find on Ebay that costs less than £1 including delivery (buy it now, not auction). If you have any suggestions please let me know, the bigger the better.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: jp on August 31, 2018, 11:39:37 am
Go to Work on an Egg!
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on September 01, 2018, 06:30:50 am
If Ingo was a football chairman:

https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2018/aug/30/jose-mourinho-saint-bob-lord-burnley-provocation?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Fiver+2016&utm_term=284521&subid=6315059&CMP=EMCFTBEML853
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on September 01, 2018, 06:33:26 am
I don't mind it.

In Ingo would I have took to sending my mate anything I can find on Ebay that costs less than £1 including delivery (buy it now, not auction). If you have any suggestions please let me know, the bigger the better.

97p

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/5347-Donald-Trump-Election-Silver-White-Eagle-Flag-Coin-45th-President-Gift/202399516812?hash=item2f1ff3888c:g:-KMAAOSwbsRbbxy0
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on September 01, 2018, 08:18:04 am
98p

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/E44A-Decor-Gift-Flash-Stick-Glittery-Led-Lollipop-Toys-Party-Festival/173452894887?epid=24022168873&hash=item28629922a7:g:LdIAAOSwGDZbZ0Uy
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: garf on September 01, 2018, 10:47:57 pm
98p

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/E44A-Decor-Gift-Flash-Stick-Glittery-Led-Lollipop-Toys-Party-Festival/173452894887?epid=24022168873&hash=item28629922a7:g:LdIAAOSwGDZbZ0Uy

98p more than this

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/aug/29/nigel-farage-portrait-fails-to-attract-buyers-royal-academy
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on September 03, 2018, 12:29:24 pm
Keep um coming Rich.

In Ingo world I've had a logo sent from a screenshot, other photos in the recent gallery thumbnails just below seem to be of tits.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Seán on September 24, 2018, 02:08:37 pm
I've only just found this particularly dark corner of the interspaz.

It scares me a little bit that Ingo 's an actual  person.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on November 27, 2019, 06:34:26 pm
How has it been over a year since anything was posted in here?
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: karlmark on December 02, 2019, 01:48:30 pm
No.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on December 10, 2019, 08:41:48 pm
Glad to see the new match thread proving such a winner.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on December 10, 2019, 08:52:16 pm
Glad to see the new match thread proving such a winner.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Dave Rave on December 11, 2019, 02:53:27 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0doSWS0Fj24
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on December 12, 2019, 09:30:04 am
Glad to see the new match thread proving such a winner.

Fake news.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on December 16, 2019, 08:44:06 pm
It must be about that time of the week for a matchday thread!
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Richoriginal on February 03, 2020, 06:20:17 pm
Happy new year to all in Ingo World!
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on September 25, 2020, 08:30:29 pm
The Hogg no more.
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Mos on September 25, 2020, 09:44:20 pm
I remember (vaguely) The Hogg
Title: Re: Ingo world
Post by: Jeff on September 26, 2020, 06:52:57 am
IIRC (s)he had a very strong and inexplicable aversion to being quoted.