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Topics - Chicago

1
The Daily Cut and Thrust / SWAN BRICKING!

Well it's Jeff approved Thursday so we turn our thoughts to the weekend and a trip to the league leaders of Swansea.  They beat Leeds and we didn't but according to stats they have been quite lucky.  We also have super Brice Bamba in goal.  He is a God amongst Muric's. 

So with some preparation we should have a game plan.  They have a bloke who played for Kosovo and like the rest of that team runs around like his house is on fire.  It could have been,,, I mean there was a war there....  Anyway...

1-1 and Smoochies run continues.  It won't be pretty but then again we don't always play Birmingham city who apparently have won loads of games since we tw@tted them.  There is no justice let me tell you.  No justice at all.

Lolz with the goal.  (or super Albert).


Chicago: Usually an animal lover.  
2
The Daily Cut and Thrust / WE NEVER BEAT THOSE PRESTON CNUTS!
Bludgeon vs Bludgeon.  We have only won once in 8 against this mob.  We were completely robbed in the last game by some horrible hollywood Goalkeeping raspberry acting. (Razzies..) when it was obviously Yates had won the ball for Lolley to finish.  Cnuts.  

They play a high press and are attritional.  So are we but have a little in our locker (assuming Lolz isn't injured again).

0-0 or 2-0 to us as we take an early lead and frustrate them and hit them with a spazzy Sow/Semedo break that Grabban finishes. (obviously by not striking the ball correctly and it spinning away from the keeper). #Mirwouldhavestruckitbetter.


Chicago: Staying on an even keel. 



 
3
The Daily Cut and Thrust / LET’S HAVE SOME CUP FUN BY BEATING THE d*rby SCUM!!!

Muric will probably play which is depressing but at least we will see some of the new boys.  The Spaniard at the back.  Riberio again.  I am most looking forward to Appiah and Johnson getting a run out.  Unfortunately there is no TV coverage which is depressing but I think if Direby don’t play their first team we can see Keogh crying in the stands.  Pity Richardson is on loan.
Would have loved to see him play. 

I say Moochie ball delivers us a 2-0 win.  Shady’s new love Mir probably won’t score.

Chicago:  Optimistic. 
4
The Daily Cut and Thrust / CRAVEN FOR A RESULT AT THE COTTAGE

Our biggest test so far of the season.  Fulham have an awfully good Championship squad.  We struggled in the first half against Charlton.   Super smoochie better have a plan because fulham do what the Valley girls do but with better players and more fitness.

I would be delighted and shocked if we won this.  I think we might get rocked 3-0.  Hopefully the plan is more than just send Samba Sow, Bostock and Semedo to batter the sh!t out of them and hope for the best. 

Lolz should be back.  I believe....


As Shady noted they have Knockaert who loves playing against us.  Let's hope our full backs are up for some sh!thousery. 


Chicago: Hoping for net positive. 
5
The Daily Cut and Thrust / VALLEY GIRLS!
Graham's favourite love child are back in the Championship lead by Lee Bowyer's on again off again commitment to the team.  He's as ugly as his posturing for money!  Unfortunately his team seem to be doing the business.  Most league one teams who get promoted seem to continue that trend and end up in the Prem, (see Norwich, Southampton, Fester etc).  Our job should we choose to accept it is to bludgeon them with big buggers who don't really know how to play football.  Yes i am talking to you Samba Sow!  

Charlton by all accounts play football.  We have run into that problem with other teams in the past (Norwich, Brentford, Fulham..)
Will Watson crack with mobile footballers running at him?  We shall see.  We shall see. 

Is this the game where we break our dreadful away day record?


Nope.  I go for 1-1.


Chicago: Looking for progress.

Chicago:
6
The Daily Cut and Thrust / CLOTET CREAM!
For JP...

IN case anyone was confused; Forest v's the Brum scum. 

Nobody really knows our best team and we don't pass to the striker so is this a 0-0 in the making or do the Blue Nose FFP doping tw@t fiends have a good side?  Seems they signed lots of players this season and also have Jefferson Montero from Swansea who might be the fasted player in the Championship.  I am sure Matty Cash will enjoy this unless he is pushed up for some Jenkinson one legged action.  Also who the fcuk is Pep Clotet?  His name is Pep to start with so that should strike fear into someone!  Although as a quick amendment they also have Lee Camp in goal so we can expect some kind of comedy which will keep it mildly interesting... 

it could be 3-3 or 4-0 or 0-3 or I DON'T FCUKING KNOW!   I do know this, I am apparently expecting us to win this 17-0 and if we don't then I will be cross and questioning the ambition of the NFFC board. 

I am predicting that we may have one shot on target which will be nice. 


Chicago: Super positive.
7
The Daily Cut and Thrust / FERME LA BOUCHE V'S WEST BROMWICH GOAT AIDS!

Jeff says wait until Thursday.  It's fcuking Thursday in Pre-Brexit land.  I have decided on a new tactic.  I have absolutely no idea what to expect as I don't really know how many players are actually in our squad.  So the idea is to insult the opposition into surrender.  They are all Brummie cnuts anyway and they got rid of a bloke who had them at third last season and replaced him with someone who lost to the FFP doping Brummie cnuts. 

Anyway, I am not sure they have sorted a forward yet as they got rid of Rondon, lost Jay Rodriquez and couldn't secure Dwight "cheaty can't stay on my feety", Gayle.

They do have a massive bloke Kenneth Sahore who I think was at Cardiff and we cannot defend against giants.  Oliver Burke I hope is still sulking.... (Let's nick him for a quid).

It's on telly and ...  I think we win an ugly game 1-0 with a goal off Grabban's arse from a shot by Magic Joe Lolley.

Also I think people should post their predictions by also including something horrible about the opposition.   Let's make these threads more fun than watching forest!  (which considering the manager's style could be w@nk or great I don't fcuking know).


Over to you chaps.


Chicago: Fcuk everyone who isn't us!
8
The Daily Cut and Thrust / THE SILLY SEASON!
Because people are randomly writing, "do we have a summer transfer thread or just spunking things all over different threads, I have decided to take action.  Besides you are all cnuts and it would be nice to see all your outlandish aspirations laid bare for Tricky to tear apart whilst quoting teletex, the odd fax machine and the Sinclair C-5.  

So without further ado, it looks like we are looking at wingers and British players  like the bloke from Portsmud and also more porto-geezers from errr Lincoln City....   And defenders (but again the rumours of the bloke from Bristol have been denied..)

I think MON might go all IORISH, and also Colback and it might be boring as all hell with Borg 2 and dynamism.  As in Lolley and another winger...(like Lolley).

I want Ollie Burke back because I think we can loan him or get him cheap and he could be the new Lolley (or the old Ollie).

Hopefully we don't over spunk but if we do then you know we will have a new manager by the time we beat Leeds around Christmas.  Chris Houghton?  Or the bloke from Leeds?  Ha! 

What do we need and what do we need to boot out?  Answers on a post it note board right here!.


I think:  Byram, Colback, winger, centre back (why???) and a forward (which we need because Grabban is a walking Achilles bomb).

Lots of players going on loan.  ( I would like Johnson and Appiah to stay but then I am fond of the potential of yoof! (creepy Fnarr),...


Chicago: Delusional. 
10
The Daily Cut and Thrust / Is Mangeout okay?

Yes I am aware that he lives in Wellington which is on the north Island and Christchurch is in the south but I worry.   Also doesn't New Zealand have a strict anti gun policy.  As for the fact of the matter doesn't Australia?  So for a mad Aussie to attack NZ mosques is even more confounding.  How did he get the weapons there?  Etc etc.  

I would be very interested to know his perspective and of course to make sure that Mangy is okay.  He's a top bloke and we would like to visit again (even if I am getting the rounds in).


The world is mad I tell you.


Chicago: Looking south. 
11
The Daily Cut and Thrust / Where's your Tractor now?
They wanted Mad mick gone.  He gone.  They are rooted to the bottom of the Championship.  They also have been getting creditable draws in the last few weeks.  We are away.  We need to win. We don't actually beat them unless we are in danger of relegation. We don't actually have a centre forward.  1-1.





Chicago: Agricultural. 
12
The Daily Cut and Thrust / LET'S tw@t VILLA!
Apt I would think.  Obviously the name Grealish in the title popped up in my devious little brain but I didn't want anyone to get any fiendish ideas.

This will be a tough one.  Sure, they don't have their flying winger anymore but they did give d*rby a hell of a kicking earlier in the month.  Have they toughened defensively?  It depends on whether you consider Mings to be stamping on people tough?

Grabban I would hope is available.  Grealish is a still knob end who has a very punchable face, (something I implore you not to do), so no doubt his good form may cause us great problems as will Tammy Abraham.  At least we have two centre backs who can jump now.

This could go either way.  We need to maintain momentum but alas I think 1-1 might be the result.

Will Martin change it up, (by that I hope I don't mean Watson) and add some flair?  Your guess is as good as mine.  If so, I may change my mind and sneak a win.  It might be our last super big test this season as Villa do have good players and I would be delighted if we fcuk up their season so they go into FFP freefall next year.


Chicago: Boxing clever.
13
The Daily Cut and Thrust / ‘ULL in a Handbasket
Last time we played them they were Pants.  They have improved a lot.  They also always beat us at home.  We are solid but uninspiring nowadays.  They beat Brum and Stoke.   Brum and Stoke beat us.  Are we now in that category?   At the moment yes.  It could all go tits up.

Will Martin notice this and bring back a little finesse?  We will see Eric. His wife is still lovely.  I hope Appiah plays, (I suspect he won’t..)

Urgh.  Let’s go with 2-0.  lolley and Murphy.  (Yes you heard it here first!!!)

Grabban will be rested for Villa.


Chicago: Mildly Optimistic. 
14
The Daily Cut and Thrust / BROKEN POTTERY!
0-0.

After the Rapture of donking Direby this will be an exercise in hoofing.  Our centre backs are solid and will cope with anything skyward.  The question is will we have any gumption Playing a team who are basically a more expensive us?  They do have Sam Vokes which is bothersome but I don’t think Martin is going to change the team for this one.

I hope to be wrong. I would like to be surprised by total football but do you think we will see Carvalho and Pele against Ryan Shawcross?

Chicago: Staring angrily at Pottery barn.
15
The Daily Cut and Thrust / LET’S PSYCHO THIS BITCH!
Sure,
          We could included thick Frank and woolly jokes but nothing ever beats the image of Psycho smashing Ten McMinn through and over a boarding.  Then of course the indelible image of our glorious former leader fists raised and pumped as Ozzy smashed in the winner way back.

Wouldn’t it be good if we metaphorically gave d*rby Such a TGLE slap that their season crumbles once again.

This time it’s legends MON and nutter butter Keane at the helm.  They must hate Direby because they played for us.  It will be blood and thunder and ugly to watch (as these matches always seem to be) but with our well hard centre backs ready for the fight Tom Carroll is going to get the sh!t kicked out of him.  There will probably be a sending off (hopefully cry baby Keogh).  We will win 1-0.  Lolley.

It would be nice at half time to have Nathan Tyson come out and run around the field with a flag.  That would be a fitting touch.

Roll on Monday.


Chicago:  Taking off the gloves.