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Topics - Chicago

1
The Daily Cut and Thrust / THE SILLY SEASON!
Because people are randomly writing, "do we have a summer transfer thread or just spunking things all over different threads, I have decided to take action.  Besides you are all cnuts and it would be nice to see all your outlandish aspirations laid bare for Tricky to tear apart whilst quoting teletex, the odd fax machine and the Sinclair C-5.  

So without further ado, it looks like we are looking at wingers and British players  like the bloke from Portsmud and also more porto-geezers from errr Lincoln City....   And defenders (but again the rumours of the bloke from Bristol have been denied..)

I think MON might go all IORISH, and also Colback and it might be boring as all hell with Borg 2 and dynamism.  As in Lolley and another winger...(like Lolley).

I want Ollie Burke back because I think we can loan him or get him cheap and he could be the new Lolley (or the old Ollie).

Hopefully we don't over spunk but if we do then you know we will have a new manager by the time we beat Leeds around Christmas.  Chris Houghton?  Or the bloke from Leeds?  Ha! 

What do we need and what do we need to boot out?  Answers on a post it note board right here!.


I think:  Byram, Colback, winger, centre back (why???) and a forward (which we need because Grabban is a walking Achilles bomb).

Lots of players going on loan.  ( I would like Johnson and Appiah to stay but then I am fond of the potential of yoof! (creepy Fnarr),...


Chicago: Delusional. 
3
The Daily Cut and Thrust / Is Mangeout okay?

Yes I am aware that he lives in Wellington which is on the north Island and Christchurch is in the south but I worry.   Also doesn't New Zealand have a strict anti gun policy.  As for the fact of the matter doesn't Australia?  So for a mad Aussie to attack NZ mosques is even more confounding.  How did he get the weapons there?  Etc etc.  

I would be very interested to know his perspective and of course to make sure that Mangy is okay.  He's a top bloke and we would like to visit again (even if I am getting the rounds in).


The world is mad I tell you.


Chicago: Looking south. 
4
The Daily Cut and Thrust / Where's your Tractor now?
They wanted Mad mick gone.  He gone.  They are rooted to the bottom of the Championship.  They also have been getting creditable draws in the last few weeks.  We are away.  We need to win. We don't actually beat them unless we are in danger of relegation. We don't actually have a centre forward.  1-1.





Chicago: Agricultural. 
5
The Daily Cut and Thrust / LET'S tw@t VILLA!
Apt I would think.  Obviously the name Grealish in the title popped up in my devious little brain but I didn't want anyone to get any fiendish ideas.

This will be a tough one.  Sure, they don't have their flying winger anymore but they did give d*rby a hell of a kicking earlier in the month.  Have they toughened defensively?  It depends on whether you consider Mings to be stamping on people tough?

Grabban I would hope is available.  Grealish is a still knob end who has a very punchable face, (something I implore you not to do), so no doubt his good form may cause us great problems as will Tammy Abraham.  At least we have two centre backs who can jump now.

This could go either way.  We need to maintain momentum but alas I think 1-1 might be the result.

Will Martin change it up, (by that I hope I don't mean Watson) and add some flair?  Your guess is as good as mine.  If so, I may change my mind and sneak a win.  It might be our last super big test this season as Villa do have good players and I would be delighted if we fcuk up their season so they go into FFP freefall next year.


Chicago: Boxing clever.
6
The Daily Cut and Thrust / ‘ULL in a Handbasket
Last time we played them they were Pants.  They have improved a lot.  They also always beat us at home.  We are solid but uninspiring nowadays.  They beat Brum and Stoke.   Brum and Stoke beat us.  Are we now in that category?   At the moment yes.  It could all go tits up.

Will Martin notice this and bring back a little finesse?  We will see Eric. His wife is still lovely.  I hope Appiah plays, (I suspect he won’t..)

Urgh.  Let’s go with 2-0.  lolley and Murphy.  (Yes you heard it here first!!!)

Grabban will be rested for Villa.


Chicago: Mildly Optimistic. 
7
The Daily Cut and Thrust / BROKEN POTTERY!
0-0.

After the Rapture of donking Direby this will be an exercise in hoofing.  Our centre backs are solid and will cope with anything skyward.  The question is will we have any gumption Playing a team who are basically a more expensive us?  They do have Sam Vokes which is bothersome but I don’t think Martin is going to change the team for this one.

I hope to be wrong. I would like to be surprised by total football but do you think we will see Carvalho and Pele against Ryan Shawcross?

Chicago: Staring angrily at Pottery barn.
8
The Daily Cut and Thrust / LET’S PSYCHO THIS BITCH!
Sure,
          We could included thick Frank and woolly jokes but nothing ever beats the image of Psycho smashing Ten McMinn through and over a boarding.  Then of course the indelible image of our glorious former leader fists raised and pumped as Ozzy smashed in the winner way back.

Wouldn’t it be good if we metaphorically gave d*rby Such a TGLE slap that their season crumbles once again.

This time it’s legends MON and nutter butter Keane at the helm.  They must hate Direby because they played for us.  It will be blood and thunder and ugly to watch (as these matches always seem to be) but with our well hard centre backs ready for the fight Tom Carroll is going to get the sh!t kicked out of him.  There will probably be a sending off (hopefully cry baby Keogh).  We will win 1-0.  Lolley.

It would be nice at half time to have Nathan Tyson come out and run around the field with a flag.  That would be a fitting touch.

Roll on Monday.


Chicago:  Taking off the gloves.
9
The Daily Cut and Thrust / Knob end or Glory
Preston tw@tted Norwich on Wednesday. They like to press.  We like to press.  Except they do it better and we are a bit meh.  I can see us getting tw@tted or a rousing 0-0.

But since my threads are full of hope and frankly better than Karanka I have to go with us putting up a fight.  There will be changes for the team (MON) said so.  I suspect Colback and Yates will play.  Will Watson sit or get sent off.  We are not making the playoffs but I see a plan.   We will be solid and Boring.   I still like Martin and Roy though.  

Here’s to a surprise Appiah sighting and a possible Bridcutt/Pele over the patio appearance. 

Chicago: Brave enough to thread. 
10
The Daily Cut and Thrust / A Brum bum or a clever WBA anal thumb
WBA are dangerous.  They are the only team to Dick Norwich twice.  I have tipped them with the Canaries to go up at the expense of Leeds.

At best 1-1.  At worst ugly fugly  0-3.   But if we are to get romantic maybe we should revisit the Raddy 3-1 in the Billies dayz.  Perhaps we have a plan as take them apart 0-2.   Lolley and Cash. 

I doubt it but we did play awfully well against them earlier in the season.  It would be nice if Yacob was given a game as he was none to happy to leave the Hawthorns.

I am an optimist but really need Ingo to pray to the swan gods for the Baggies to have an off day.

It’s on television so there will be goals.


Chicago:  Realist. 

PS:  if Watson plays we are fooked.
11
The Daily Cut and Thrust / MEAN KEANE AND THE O'NEIL MACHINE!

Okay this is the deadly duo's first home game.  It's Brentford who always out football us.  I have faith that mad Roy will have the players finely tuned into kicking the sh!t out of the buzzy bees.  Roy also has instructions for Milosovic (because he sounds like a Serbian war criminal), to stand on Ollie Watkins's hand everytime he does a chronically comical dive.  (Great player but that last week to win the game was comical.).

We win 1-0 after Pele forgets to hoof the ball and passes a beauty to Lolley to dispatch the goal and then kiss his badge because the new deal means he loves Forest and not Villa.

The train starts rolling and Russ complains that we all live in the past and that Murphy should be dead by now.  In other news Bonatini starts because Grabban is still buggered and Wague gets sent off because he doesn't understand that a physical game doesn't mean all in Wrestling.. 

Chicago: Eternal Optimist. 
12
The Daily Cut and Thrust / Dirty under your fingernails. Ingo sticks his finger up sheep bums.
It’s about time our Rushcliffe Top Gun bum boy brings us some d*rby day luck.  This will be a scrappy nasty game.

Kranky will have some kind of soul sapping tactic which will frustrate those cnut muffins in the hope that Lolley will weave some magic.  We do a Middlesbrough and fcuk them in an ugly game 1-0.


Chicago:  sheep Shearer.
13
The Daily Cut and Thrust / Look to the skies!!!!
Incoming neck ache!  Rowett’s Stoke coming to town.  I cannot image a game of beautiful passing football with skill and drama.  I only think of sh!t trainers and Peter Crouch.  Stoke are underperforming. Maybe we can get the gobby tw@t the sack.  I am sure Karanka is going to overwhelm me with his dynamism.  We go ahead they hoof.  We hoof.  I have a spasm.  Jim screams that Stoke are a sh!t club and blathers something about knowing someone when he just heard something from someone else and took the credit for it.  Ingo falls off his bike.  Tricky talks about attrition and shoulders with a bit of grump thrown in.  Russ talks sh!t about something irrelevant so he can have an argument and when no-one takes the bait he has an argument anyway. JP will extol the virtues of non- league standard Scottish football (and in this instance he will probably be correct). Gasman will complain the game isnt on I-follow (it is..)  Rich B is right, it will be 2-0.... Somewhere!!!

This will not be pretty....

Chicago: Close to the ground. 
14
The Daily Cut and Thrust / Canaries In a coal mine
Are we any good?  Are Naaaaaaaaaarwwwwich?

Is Basil in the doghouse?  Will the train keep a rolling?

Ah we are boring but win anyway with a Rich B 2-0.

Murphy and Grabby pants.


Of course Norwich play football so we are probably fooked!

Chicago:  Sniffing the fumes.
15
The Daily Cut and Thrust / INgo is a cnut PART II

That's as may be but I give it to him that his clever match thread won us the game against Sheffield Borgsday for the first time in seven games.  So hopefully something equally as inspired for Rotherington this Saturday and it's Thursday you lazy cnut where is the match thread?!!?



Chicago: Passing the baton.